deepundergroundpoetry.com
*Old Tom & the Tiger
( a Sonnet )
The time that I have spent away from home
Has never been like there and yet the same.
To take me back but limit where I'd roam
That brought me down each time the winter came.
Most times while deep in thought while I would tread,
Ignoring humans even though I'd see
From shadow's movement when I'd raise my head,
For there you'd be, Old Tom, amusing me.
The bitter cold of rain would have me think
About the trees and grasslands of my birth,
Before my mother's lessons were extinct,
And since, companionship of your full worth.
You always know just when the time is right
To visit with your queen to her delight.
*With gratitude for Geoff's permission of my piece based on his original write, shown copy/pasted below:
OLD TOM AND THE TIGER
(a nursery sonnet)
The tiger knew no cage but “habitat”
She was the queen of her half-block domain
She’d rest in summer shade like any cat
But then would come the cold mid-winter rain
Old Tom, would lounge as well and watch her stalk
As she would pace and watch the humans stare
Old Tom would stride and match her walk for walk
And she would smile to watch his strutting there
But with the rain his queen would barely stir
These frigid rains that made her feel so sick,
So lost, then came a rustle in her fur
It was Old Tom with nip and tug and lick
Old Tom would stay and play with her awhile
He always seemed to prod his tiger’s smile
Written by Hepcat61 (geoff cat)
Published 26th May 2016
The time that I have spent away from home
Has never been like there and yet the same.
To take me back but limit where I'd roam
That brought me down each time the winter came.
Most times while deep in thought while I would tread,
Ignoring humans even though I'd see
From shadow's movement when I'd raise my head,
For there you'd be, Old Tom, amusing me.
The bitter cold of rain would have me think
About the trees and grasslands of my birth,
Before my mother's lessons were extinct,
And since, companionship of your full worth.
You always know just when the time is right
To visit with your queen to her delight.
*With gratitude for Geoff's permission of my piece based on his original write, shown copy/pasted below:
OLD TOM AND THE TIGER
(a nursery sonnet)
The tiger knew no cage but “habitat”
She was the queen of her half-block domain
She’d rest in summer shade like any cat
But then would come the cold mid-winter rain
Old Tom, would lounge as well and watch her stalk
As she would pace and watch the humans stare
Old Tom would stride and match her walk for walk
And she would smile to watch his strutting there
But with the rain his queen would barely stir
These frigid rains that made her feel so sick,
So lost, then came a rustle in her fur
It was Old Tom with nip and tug and lick
Old Tom would stay and play with her awhile
He always seemed to prod his tiger’s smile
Written by Hepcat61 (geoff cat)
Published 26th May 2016
Published 26th Jan 2017
| Edited 11th Feb 2019
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 1
comments 8
reads 882
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
26th Jan 2017 00:22am
26th Jan 2017 1:23am
26th Jan 2017 2:02am
My poetess...
Rarely, has anyone shown me such honor... Given me such a rare gift...
I adore your poem and the perfection of the picture you chose is breath taking...
If you allow me, I will use it for both versions of my Sonnet... and you have already taken the trophy in my heart...
Tommy.😺 🐾🐾🐾🏆🐯
Rarely, has anyone shown me such honor... Given me such a rare gift...
I adore your poem and the perfection of the picture you chose is breath taking...
If you allow me, I will use it for both versions of my Sonnet... and you have already taken the trophy in my heart...
Tommy.😺 🐾🐾🐾🏆🐯
Oh yes, tomcat, I searched for that perfect picture for you... I just happened to be lucky enough to have my part of your Old Tom... to add here and my entry. If I could, I'd wallpaper the picture everywhere on the site!
Ooh and don't forget to add it to your playful addition to my Tiger comp, even though it doesn't count as an entry, I still adore its presence, and I thank you for having added it there!
Ooh and don't forget to add it to your playful addition to my Tiger comp, even though it doesn't count as an entry, I still adore its presence, and I thank you for having added it there!
26th Jan 2017 5:51am
26th Jan 2017 7:29pm
This is a very well-written verse, Jade. The only line that I stumbled on was
Most times while deep in thought while I would tread,
It seemed too many words, especially with the repetition of while. I kept wanted to read
Most times, deep in thought while I tread
But it's a beautiful verse regardless that read aloud very well for me.
Most times while deep in thought while I would tread,
It seemed too many words, especially with the repetition of while. I kept wanted to read
Most times, deep in thought while I tread
But it's a beautiful verse regardless that read aloud very well for me.
28th Jan 2017 5:13am
Thank you, Ahavati, I appreciate your thoughts on the piece, and about the pacing of that one line. Not to go into a lot of detail about it here, I'll just say that this particular sonnet style has a consistent cadence/ meter throughout, with each line a ten-syllable count, starting with a soft (s) syllable & ending with a hard (H) syllable, with hard emphasized: (one line): s/H/s/H/s/H/s/H/s/H. And repetition of words in one line is very common in sonnets. What I'll do is add under the title that this is a sonnet (a formulaic) so readers know up front. And I hope my explanation has helped. 🐯🐾
