deepundergroundpoetry.com
Once the view is towards left.
When he was too dumb to separate,
What was real and what was farce.
When she was too blind to insinuate,
The emotion he's been showing was unique, scarce.
She just didn't want it.
When he had smiled and waited for every reply,
She had not even a speck of interest to spare.
When she looked at the messages and thought it was just another lie,
He'd tucked himself under his blanket, just plain out of despair.
He just had to push it.
When he finally said sorry for ever causing trouble,
She said it was all good, all alright.
Now he just looks at her messenger bubble,
Hoping he actually gets through the night.
They finally ended it.
What was real and what was farce.
When she was too blind to insinuate,
The emotion he's been showing was unique, scarce.
She just didn't want it.
When he had smiled and waited for every reply,
She had not even a speck of interest to spare.
When she looked at the messages and thought it was just another lie,
He'd tucked himself under his blanket, just plain out of despair.
He just had to push it.
When he finally said sorry for ever causing trouble,
She said it was all good, all alright.
Now he just looks at her messenger bubble,
Hoping he actually gets through the night.
They finally ended it.
Published 14th Jan 2017
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likes 5
reading list entries 2
comments 11
reads 810
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
14th Jan 2017 2:18pm
First, welcome to the Deep Side.
Secondly, I read something the other day the oddly seems to precede this.
"Good men meet bad women and good women meet bad men so often in their life, that once a good man meets a good woman they're scared of each other and allow fear to dictate."
Sounds kind of like the situation here with your reference to lies. It's all very sad that all one can do is ask, "What was my lesson in this?" And hope we learn it lest it's repeated.
Bubbles sure have changed since we were little, haven't they. What once contained magic now has words or silence.
Good write.
Great avatar. :)
Secondly, I read something the other day the oddly seems to precede this.
"Good men meet bad women and good women meet bad men so often in their life, that once a good man meets a good woman they're scared of each other and allow fear to dictate."
Sounds kind of like the situation here with your reference to lies. It's all very sad that all one can do is ask, "What was my lesson in this?" And hope we learn it lest it's repeated.
Bubbles sure have changed since we were little, haven't they. What once contained magic now has words or silence.
Good write.
Great avatar. :)
14th Jan 2017 2:27pm
coming from one of my instant favorites, I can't help but admire your eloquence so much more seeing as you've found it in you to actually read one of this newbie's poems, much thanks friendo.
14th Jan 2017 2:34pm
Anonymous
14th Jan 2017 2:43pm
Deep man thank you 😏
14th Jan 2017 3:14pm
14th Jan 2017 3:44pm
14th Jan 2017 3:51pm
Much appreciated coming from a veteran of poems as yourself I found the comment very settling.
14th Jan 2017 9:55pm
when I read this for the first time I was affected, my mind raced, even to the point I wondered if this poem could be a bout the relationship between a son and his mother. Now I know that's not what you meant and the poem certainly reflects the nature of relationships and social media - I enjoyed it very much :-)
15th Jan 2017 11:42am
Much appreciated. Hoping to not thwart the image bestowed, I'll be sure to make a few better ones soon enough if time allows it.
20th Jan 2017 2:15am
This is my absolute new favourite poem. The frankness, yet subtle emotivity - as if watching from the window - makes this a winner foe me. Superb ink.
22nd Jan 2017 12:12pm
wow, I couldn't be any more flattered then I am right now, thanks a whole lot for the praise I couldn't ask for more.
