To my addict son

I blame myself but no that's not right, I know that I taught him darkness from light, from the bottom of my heart to the top of my head, I look in his eyes and to me they look dead

I'm not trying to say what he does is okay but this stuff in his brain is causing decay

Addiction's an illness of that there's no doubt, it eats up your life on the inside and out. It's taking my son from his life and his loves and I pray every day for some help from above.

My little boy gone in the blink of an eye and the stuff that he loves will cause him to die, I look at him now and I don't know this man, I look back at pictures of us holding hands

I know in my heart that things aren't the same, when I wake up at night and I'm screaming his name, how could this have happened to my little boy, my number one son who'd brought me such joy?

I listen to those who call it a choice but this love of his life won't give him a voice
She's hard and she's cruel and she knows when he's low, and promises him heaven, he just can't say no

One night with her is all that you need, the next thing you know she's planted her seed. You'll watch your world crumble and then try to hide, but she's still right there with you, right by your side

She'll show you her truth although it's not real, you like it by then, no reason to feel, the numbness inside, it pushes away, the ones who've stood by you day after day

She'll soothe you and tell you that things are okay and you'll lean on her harder with each passing day, The people who love you watch as you fade, they've loved you and tried to show you the way

But she won't let go and you no longer hear, and now only she can get close to your ear. Her promise of comfort you hear without fail, the only time free of her, time spent in jail

You come out so free and feel deep inside, but she's always there waiting to give you a ride, it just takes that once to stop all the pain and then you're back with her to start it again

She'll be the death of him one of these days and my precious boy pumpkin will go to his grave, now when the phone rings late into the night, I always awake, my soul filled with fright for the child who I've loved and who filled me with light and I hope and I pray that this isn't the night

She's ruined his life and he has no control, can't pick up the pieces, a horrible roll, there's no happy ending where she is concerned, when you count on her, you'll always get burned

She cares not a bit how your life will turn out, just wants you to use her, you figure it out, she will just watch as your life falls apart, as you start feeling pain inside of your heart, for the things that you've done and said all this time, that hill's too high, too hard to climb

So you find her again, she's always around, and you love what she's promised, you can't turn her down, when will you learn that her stories are lies? I'll wait for the day that you open your eyes

I pray it comes soon, I'll wait til the end for my little boy pumpkin to heal and to mend, we'll go down to the park and walk hand in hand, and I'll see my sons smile as we walk through the sand,

I'll know he's okay inside of my heart and all of the things that had fallen apart
Will come back together, making things right,  he'll leave this behind and step into the light...