JOURNEY TO THE FIRST TIME

Lovely recollections an waiting is always more rewarding than wham, bam, thank you ma'am.

The 'recollections' are not autobiographical but based on the experiences of many couples I have read of. I certainly agree with waiting, although the pace depends on the chemistry.

I'm not sure this line, "Took off our clothes and got on top", makes logistical sense. How could both of the two lovers get on top? One would have to be on the bottom, unless they're getting on top of a third party/object. Perhaps you meant "on top of the bed"?

Otherwise, I think this poem too often sacrifices grammar and imagery for the sake of the rhyme scheme. A little description of the settings and characters could go a long way, and make the poem a lot more memorable. At the moment, it seems to exist almost solely for its rhymes. You clearly have a knack for rhythm, though, so in this poem, at least, all you need to do is add more substance. Thank you for the read, and all critique is, of course, JMHO.

This was a "summing up" of the sequence of events, so background descriptions were not on my agenda. I aimed to make it a portrayal of the growth of sexual feeling and intimacy between many a couple. I deliberately left "got on top" as it is because I wanted to add to the double entendre. It could be interpreted as meaning getting on top of each other, on top of a bed (or any other object the lovemaking took place on) - I leave it to imagination.

I wanted it to be a poem many couples could relate to despite differences of class, environment and how/where it was first done. Were I writing that as a song for the pop charts, would I not be considering the widest possible appeal to be sure of a best seller?

Highs are suggested but ends with a lament?

I leave that to imagination. Couples still into their relationship many years later, I thought, could say the same as the last line, as much as those whose relationships later ended.