broken by default

   
   
   
Sold a business                         
ending the last quarter                         
of 2016                         
An emotional time         
having spent the best part         
of 36 months building                         
growing                         
taking care of it                         
                        
Signing the paper work                         
brought Blue Gum tears to my face
Initials on each side                         
of pages in contracts                         
made the gut ache                         
I know that ache well, I feel it at         
five o'clock every Sunday evening  
When my little mouths                         
run off shouting                         
"Bye Daddy!"                         
to the wind                         
                        
(It was time to move on from this business though;                         
I knew it                         
The crew knew it                         
and the wind would sing it  
in the toxic 2016 war zone it created)                         
                        
Helped the new guys through       
the year end rush       
after they'd paid the deposit       
just in time to cover my ass       
from the judgemental beings       
Who like their eggs fried       
served on Noritake       
by a Butler                         
                        
      
Well the day came                         
Took to the bank;                         
payment was made                         
business debt was cleared   
Staff took a pinch   
I finally saw the profit                         
                        
                        
Stared at that number                         
heard the mild echo                         
of a consultant asking                         
"How do want this paid, sir?"                         
                        
"I could buy the other half of....       
mind you     
it's more than we estimated;     
new house deposit!"     
I retorted                         
                        
"Sir, can I suggest..." She said                         
                        
I walked out of that bank                        
completely debt free                         
Not a cent owing to anyone                         
                        
                        
We even had 2017 year's                        
school fees, settled       
A liberating freedom       
An air punch to the soul moment       
Drove off     
thinking     
my three years and the social hell     
that came with it     
might have had it's worth     
      
Had a really good sleep       
"the transaction is complete"     
type of dead, sleep                     
      
      
Woke early                         
no time to waste                         
I figured                       
the two week summer break                  
and                   
the extra time I stole                   
when the guns                     
at my temple                         
took my belongings                     
I should check the email                         
                        
(I find email tedious, it's always spam  
and unsolicited                         
uninteresting junk                         
It's also hardly instant any more   
Haven't used them for business   
since last June   
It's lived it's life course   
I feel.)                         
                        
                        
                        
Right at the top                       
of the incoming items;                         
there it sat. Sent to destroy me     
With every ounce of heartless     
finger pointing, she could conjure                         
                        
                        
"YOU'RE NO GOOD FOR YOUR KIDS!"                         
                        
                        
Threw that computer into     
the recycling heap     
after I'd crucified the screen     
with a six inch nail                         
                        
Never liked it much anyway!                     
                      
Sat back     
thought of the day I was robbed    
thought of the location                         
the time                         
Thought about of who lives,  
where   
    
Thought of those Johannesburg steel           
guns           
in my face     
                        
Thought of the word " Hello "    
              
Smiled                         
          
                        
"I AM GOOD FOR MY KIDS!"                         
                        
And good riddance     
to every friendship ring offered     
Olive leaf given     
Forgiveness freely expressed
Every word forgotten                         
                       
                        
Just good                         
                        
riddance                         
                        
                        
-x-