deepundergroundpoetry.com
Mommy's Little Man
Sitting watching shows today
With my little man smiling
Only four months old
And I promise my dear
That this life I've given
Must have been sent from heaven
I've never been happier
Than I am sitting here
With mommy's little man
With my little man smiling
Only four months old
And I promise my dear
That this life I've given
Must have been sent from heaven
I've never been happier
Than I am sitting here
With mommy's little man
Published 14th Dec 2016
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14th Dec 2016 10:46pm
'members me
the time short
and long ago
i held my little man
held by science
with tubes
grown
now he towers above me
the time short
and long ago
i held my little man
held by science
with tubes
grown
now he towers above me
14th Dec 2016 10:49pm
15th Dec 2016 8:09am
I must say this is a cute piece, not often I get such a feeling of warmth and tenderness on here... Good pen!
~anonshadow😏
~anonshadow😏
Hullo and welcome.
ahh, been there, quite something. It's good you can translate that onto the page
I see a couple of tiny things which may help you in the future:
at the begining of the poem you're speaking to us. then it kinda changed with the couple of lines which start with "and I promise, my dear" because you're talking to the little one.
it's not really a big deal, y'know. probably easily fixed of you had the mind to
but, it's poetry. its emotion. adoration, unconditional love etc. so when you captured the moment, you created
keep chugging away, plenty of time to pick up bits and pieces along the way
good stuff, keep shinning
ahh, been there, quite something. It's good you can translate that onto the page
I see a couple of tiny things which may help you in the future:
at the begining of the poem you're speaking to us. then it kinda changed with the couple of lines which start with "and I promise, my dear" because you're talking to the little one.
it's not really a big deal, y'know. probably easily fixed of you had the mind to
but, it's poetry. its emotion. adoration, unconditional love etc. so when you captured the moment, you created
keep chugging away, plenty of time to pick up bits and pieces along the way
good stuff, keep shinning
9th Jan 2017 9:25pm
You have a direct voice, sincere and touching. Makes me want to have a child with you. That's the effect of your writing, I know. I was involved.
