deepundergroundpoetry.com

The Ground

It’s kinda funny
I stare at the ground
From my fifth floor room
It might be just a car park
But to me the grey tarmac
The white and yellow lines
Look so beautiful, so inviting
Five floors is quite high up
If I jumped I would surly die
Some days,
That would be a welcome release
The nurses here are not very nice
Some are violently cruel
I have the bruises to prove it
They tell my family that I fell
Or walked into a cupboard or a door
They tell them it’s all part of the illness
They always nod in agreement
All these family members
I no longer recognise
In my mind I scream at them
I shout the truth at them
Having lost the power of speech
My screams and shouts are silent
I would write it down
But my hands shake so much
Even my hands have fallen silent
Still they smile at me
Sometimes they shed some tears
That is my only form of communication
I can still cry and I do
But it’s not enough
They dry my eyes, wipe my drool
Treat me like a four year old child
A child not yet able to think straight
But I do, inside this skull
There are moments when I am still me
But blindly nobody sees it
I am treated like a retard
And for a lot of the time I am
But only because of the medication given
The chemical cosh to keep me subdued
It’s all about quiet life control, for them
The beatings
The physical abuse
The mental cruelty
All are easier if you are made compliant
The drugs will do that
The drugs do something else
They return you to you
They dissolve the retard
That’s why you never get them
Just before visiting time
I’ve been faking taking certain ones
I have a secret stash
The uppers not the downers
I have a cunning plan
It’s funny how;
People are scared of heights
People are scared of falling
It’s not the height that kills you
It’s not the fall that kills you
It’s the ground
The ground kills you
Especially concrete or tarmac
Tarmac from a fifth floor window
Would certainly do the trick
Anyway back to the plan;
About thirty minutes before visiting time
I take my medication stash
I lock my door
I stagger to the window
Open it
Climb out on to the ledge
And sit, waiting
Better do it on a Wednesday
That’s the only day they come
I wait for the car to arrive
I wait for them to get out
And as they draw near
I jump, screaming “Bastards!”
At all of them
I hope when they called me
A shell of a man
They were speaking the truth
And I hit the tarmac and smash
Just like Humpty Dumpty
I will only get one shot at this
Then I can be me
Until the lights go out
I leave one message to the criers
The left behind
Those who were meant to care
Beware the ground
Fear the ground
It's the ground that kills you
Written by David_Macleod (14397816)
Published
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