Viejo San Juan

Deep down I fear that things won't ever feel the same and I don't know if I could find comfort within that.

"What are you thinking about?" Oh how I wish I could answer that, how I wish I can't , think about it that is. How I wish I could stop, how I wish it never happened but damn how I wish it didn't hurt this much. How much I wish my heart didn't feel this heavy and my love for you this empty. How I wish I could've given myself more time to heal.. rather to have forgiven you this easily. How much I see your effort but how sad it is that I can't care for it right now. How much I wish these tears didn't try to fight me so hard to resurface themselves on this train ride home. More so , your birthday is coming up and how sad is it that I cannot feel happy with you instead I reminisce on how happy I was for you.  But what I truly can't comprehend is how sad I feel without you but at the same time with you.

Sincerely ,

The hopes that I'll find balance within you once again