Reflection

Looking into my reflection and i don't see myself
looking in deep brown horizon of hidden feelings and emotion i hold inside. wanting to let out what i have trapped that's into a deep dark place.
"But why?" Is the question that is brought to mind every time.
Why is it so hard to speak what's on my mind that slips onto to tongue.
"It's there. Just let it out." Nothing in particular to say
just the feelings that i have there. Not just around me, but around anyone else.
Comfort is what my mind creates for me to return to. where the battles are at ease but that still surrounds.
War is within me. So where else would you call home? So i keep inside cause that's where i know where me is. How would i expect others to understand.
This is the real me that's Hidden, that's buried . I don't see me, the person everyone loves, adores, and could be surrounded by. I see myself, the dirty, tainted, dark, spoken less me that no one else understands.
For when i look away from my reflection i leave her there waiting and observing for me to return ..... to face her once again.