Layers of Blame

Sweating bullets unfired from a revolver held within a shaky cold fist
Circling the wagons to take cover from the denial of self-diagnosis
Fate cannot be dodged when placing the barrel against a stubborn fools head
Yet until the trigger is pulled a whisper can spread rumors that hope is not dead
The masked secrets that become tucked under the latent layers of the past
Mysteries cloaked in transparent darkness leaving no shadow cast
Remaining obscured in one's own guilt ridden, unhidden memory
So as not to repeat the reticent echoes of a desperado's duplicity
Pain must remain a deterrent from recreating more of the same
Stacking building blocks that will cement one's internal blame
Risen from a molehill grown to a mountain of esurient quicksand
Concealed behind fiction carefully crafted in sly sleight of hand
To reverse the verse etched in hopes of collecting an invisible reward
Cut deep with the pen you pretend is a clever, cynical sword
Sculpting wounds left uncleansed to fester beneath concealed layers
Until your own disguised words resurface as unburied betrayers
Infections have a way of spreading and becoming infinitely worse
Mutating into a subconscious spell caster of a deep rooted curse
Every injury inflicted, no matter superficial or under the thew
Must be healed before sticking band-aides over the new
or the "new" will become poisoned by unswallowed pride
the long dormant remnants of an illness that never died
I'd like to believe there is hope for a covert operation
to remove the cancer of addiction to this lonesome obligation
But I fear it is too late to end the spinning cycle of deceitful déjà vu
The confidential regrets that secrets repetitiously imbue
Covered in a bed of cold embers and sheets of gray ash
Awakening in mourning to face a profoundly poignant backlash
To uncover the still decaying bones of my silent past
Exposing the enigma of riddles I've quietly amassed
To let them rest in peace beneath a marker chiseled in stone
Standing to remind no one of what will never be shown
A lifetime wasted trying to remember imaginary reveries
Cremated and interred in the cemetery of forgotten memories