deepundergroundpoetry.com
Comet-trysting
There are moments of passing
each other like pieces of
stars from two moons colliding.
So far apart, between trysts
as we circle around suns,
fired up, pulled apart by
gravity, then surfing rings
of braided ice, becoming
trails of swelling comet tails.
Bringing our passion's climax
to the brink before we leave
once again when fires fade.
Artwork is done on MSPaint as "mousework", the image & poem are original by Jade Pandora, Copyright ©2016. All Rights Reserved.
each other like pieces of
stars from two moons colliding.
So far apart, between trysts
as we circle around suns,
fired up, pulled apart by
gravity, then surfing rings
of braided ice, becoming
trails of swelling comet tails.
Bringing our passion's climax
to the brink before we leave
once again when fires fade.
Artwork is done on MSPaint as "mousework", the image & poem are original by Jade Pandora, Copyright ©2016. All Rights Reserved.
Published 18th Nov 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 2
comments 12
reads 1014
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The author is looking for friendly feedback.
18th Nov 2016 2:07pm
Yes ma'am *blushes* ...and thank you, dear!
If you go to "Morning Star", you'll see another of my mouseworks. And Nemo's Doopey-art comp you'll see one from one of my hosted comps, it's called "Trench Coat Angel". And there are others, but this way you'll see 3 distinctly different renderings of mine. I started out as a trad(itional) artist before writing my first poem. xo
p.s. btw, the versions in the Doopey-art comp are larger files, so you'll see the details on my 3 entries even better than here. :)
If you go to "Morning Star", you'll see another of my mouseworks. And Nemo's Doopey-art comp you'll see one from one of my hosted comps, it's called "Trench Coat Angel". And there are others, but this way you'll see 3 distinctly different renderings of mine. I started out as a trad(itional) artist before writing my first poem. xo
p.s. btw, the versions in the Doopey-art comp are larger files, so you'll see the details on my 3 entries even better than here. :)
18th Nov 2016 2:23pm
Yes... I adore your mouse work and this pic and poem are an excellent pairing... fabulous!
tommy contemplating comets planets stars and near misses
tommy contemplating comets planets stars and near misses
18th Nov 2016 2:28pm
*wiggles her eyebrows @ near misses*
Gosh thank you, tomcat, for enjoying and recommending the pair!
Gosh thank you, tomcat, for enjoying and recommending the pair!
18th Nov 2016 7:13pm
I love the cosmic feel to this one, and your painting is the perfect illustration. You're a multi-talented lady Jade. I'm impressed!
20th Nov 2016 1:09pm
Aw thank you so much, crowfly, that means so much! And I love going cosmos whenever possible.
🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘
🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘
18th Nov 2016 8:17pm
Everything is cyclic and seems to eventually to its source. Like a journey that ends at home. The anticlimax is excellent in the fading of flames imagery. Well done, Jade.
20th Nov 2016 1:15pm
19th Nov 2016 6:51am
I always enjoy your mouse works going along with your poems, great write, great painting. You are an all around artist Jade!
~anonshadow😏
~anonshadow😏
20th Nov 2016 1:56pm
Thank you for your support, Anon!
I'm grateful being able to express through art & words, and I'll always think of myself as a beginner in training.🎨
I'm grateful being able to express through art & words, and I'll always think of myself as a beginner in training.🎨
17th Mar 2017 00:41am
The astronomy theme is very fascinating and unique. I felt some exciting passion and sensuality, though maybe more line breaks and isolation of certain phrases could give more attention and emphasis on the intimate excitement. The idea of comets trysting is creative personification.
17th Mar 2017 4:26am
Thank you for your mini-crit, sir Boring. It sounds like basically you enjoyed.
