deepundergroundpoetry.com
Loved
When your words speak more than death
But yet i have nothing left
I gave it my all
And maybe that was my fall.
So now with him
Laughing with sin
Posing and hoeing
Never truely knowing
My love for you
Was real and true
But now your words stop it dead
But yet i have nothing left
I gave it my all
And maybe that was my fall.
So now with him
Laughing with sin
Posing and hoeing
Never truely knowing
My love for you
Was real and true
But now your words stop it dead
Published 18th Nov 2016
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The author encourages honest critique.
18th Nov 2016 10:22am
Not to big on the ending, however i wanted it to go woth the oppening line. Any advice on the closing line?
18th Nov 2016 10:59am
27th Sep 2017 10:26am
I really liked this! Maybe you could try something like, "but your words still speak more than death..." as the ending. It shows the continuation, and closes it neatly. But I'm not a pro! Don't take me too seriously lol. Great write!
