deepundergroundpoetry.com
Sweet Dreams Of Luv
This is my first rhyme write......let me know truthfully how I did.....thank you 🤗💜
soothing are your whispers
I hear thru the night
when all is quiet in darkness
a purple moon so bright
when heaven sleeps
time is still for just a while
you creep into my dreams
as my lips cant help to smile
how beautiful are the images
my mind creates in slumber
snuggled deep within your hug
I hear our hearts humming
beautiful is the luv we share
always together in thought
such natural connection so very rare
enjoying pleasures so often sought
a bond so sacred between you & me
how precious being luved so strong
in my heart our luv will always be
souls singing forever a sweet song
Copyright © 2016 Flowergirl All Rights Reserved
soothing are your whispers
I hear thru the night
when all is quiet in darkness
a purple moon so bright
when heaven sleeps
time is still for just a while
you creep into my dreams
as my lips cant help to smile
how beautiful are the images
my mind creates in slumber
snuggled deep within your hug
I hear our hearts humming
beautiful is the luv we share
always together in thought
such natural connection so very rare
enjoying pleasures so often sought
a bond so sacred between you & me
how precious being luved so strong
in my heart our luv will always be
souls singing forever a sweet song
Copyright © 2016 Flowergirl All Rights Reserved
Published 15th Nov 2016
| Edited 17th Nov 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 11
reading list entries 0
comments 28
reads 775
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
Anonymous
15th Nov 2016 2:54pm
<< post removed >>
16th Nov 2016 1:19am
Hey EW......thank you for your encouragement.......I'm glad you thought it was fine......purple luv & hugs xo :)
15th Nov 2016 4:15pm
It's an excellent beginning, Flower Child. Pay particular attention to the syllables when rhyming, so that your rhythm maintains and continuum throughout the read. Also, it helps if you read it aloud, thus gauging the flow personally.
16th Nov 2016 1:37am
Thank you Ahavati.......I did read out loud......it took me longer to write cause I had to think so much.........I normally write what I feel and not how I think it.......I will have to read others to see how they get it to rhyme thru out......I appreciate you sharing thoughts with me......purple luv & hugs xo :)
15th Nov 2016 5:09pm
Ah, some lucky dude to have your affection so publicly shown. Beautiful words withing the boundaries of this poem.
16th Nov 2016 1:50am
Hi Jerry........I'm so happy you think this as beautiful.......I was hoping that the new style didn't take anything away......appreciate you......purple luv & hugs xo :)
15th Nov 2016 5:59pm
This has the flow and rhythm of a song, and your use of rhyme is no crime. Great job Flower! These rhymes aren't forced (like mine so often are) and are organic to your lines. This write is a sweet dream in its entirety.
beautiful is the luv we share
always together in thought
such natural connection so very rare
enjoying pleasures so often sought
It's always a pleasure to read you Flower. You've got plenty of luv to offer and a light heart. Brava!
beautiful is the luv we share
always together in thought
such natural connection so very rare
enjoying pleasures so often sought
It's always a pleasure to read you Flower. You've got plenty of luv to offer and a light heart. Brava!
16th Nov 2016 1:58am
Awe Crow.......your words humble me........I know a few song writers......I might send it to them........im glad my rhyming feels natural........you have made me smile.......I like those lines too.......thank you......purple luv & hugs xo :)
15th Nov 2016 6:35pm
Hey flowergirl,
Again a smile inducing poem of yours!
I must admit that I'm not a huge fan of all rhyme poetry, but this one I liked :-)
Maybe because the rhyme was alternating (don't know how to better describe that, aarrggh... my english)
Great first attempt!!!
Love, Duende
Again a smile inducing poem of yours!
I must admit that I'm not a huge fan of all rhyme poetry, but this one I liked :-)
Maybe because the rhyme was alternating (don't know how to better describe that, aarrggh... my english)
Great first attempt!!!
Love, Duende
16th Nov 2016 2:25am
Hey Duende........I'm always thrilled when I induce smiles.......I'm honored by your words........I am always amazed with different styles........you English is just fine......thank you for the encouraging words you've sent my way.......purple luv & hugs xo :)
Anonymous
16th Nov 2016 00:20am
Lovely Flower, I have been known to write rhyme scribes quite often...excellent job and I would agree with Ahavati...syllables are a big part of the ease and flow when one is reading...it almost forces it to be read the way you yourself are being heard to say it...another reason why I've been called Queen Edit.... ;) and as far as content....stunning and beautifully presented!
xoxo
xoxo
16th Nov 2016 2:36am
Precious Soul.......I'm so happy to your smile upon my page.......I've read some of yours and you definetely are an admired talent of mine......you make it look easy for sure........I would assume you have very little to edit.....unless you're meaning editing others work.......I will work on this style more I think.......thank you for sending your thoughts and encouragement my way......purple luv & hugs xo :)
16th Nov 2016 3:32am
ab ab cd cd ef ef gg
try a sonnet too
tecnicalities forget them will you
you are a born poet true
unlike many here
o phew
try a sonnet too
tecnicalities forget them will you
you are a born poet true
unlike many here
o phew
16th Nov 2016 6:01am
Hey Again......I'm honored by your words......that might the next.......thank you for your kindness.......purple luv & hugs xo :)
16th Nov 2016 7:50pm
17th Nov 2016 1:30am
20th Aug 2017 7:23pm
folks don't like correction so I don't now point out but for u it's different... sis in poetry may not uses abbreviations like thru and and as & it distracts real poets I only teach a bit
21st Aug 2017 3:09am
Hey Bro.......I don't get offended too much any more........I appreciate the effort to make me a better writer.......purple luv & hugs xo :)
16th Nov 2016 12:11pm
17th Nov 2016 1:31am
Hey Black......always a treasure to see your smile upon my page......thank you......purple luv & hugs xo :)
18th Nov 2016 8:48pm
Could picture the couple snuggling up in bed together, doing nothing but enjoying each other's closeness.
18th Nov 2016 11:21pm
Hey Solomon......glad you like the pic.......you know it has to be purple......LOL!! You read into this just the way I felt it.......just being together in each other's luv......thank you for your beautiful face thoughts of this......purple luv & hugs xo :)
19th Nov 2016 3:52am
I find love poems so difficult to write, you are certainly the love poem master of DU :-)
22nd Nov 2016 1:44am
I'm so honored by your words David.......thank you so much.......I write what my heart feels....it's wonderful to feel so much.......blessed by your comment....purple luv & hugs xo :)
21st Nov 2016 00:43am
Awhh, I think you've done beautifully with this, flowed well in my mind and sent a feeling of awe and warmth through me , hope to revisit this sweetness with future poems. Love the picture as well, started the poem off with serenity. Amazing stuff.
22nd Nov 2016 1:53am
Hi Shadez......thank you for visiting my page...always thrilled when a soul feels my ink within them......glad you liked the pic too.......will be happy with a revisit.......purple luv & hugs xo :)
29th Nov 2016 3:48pm
It's a first. Poems are never really done. That's the joy, their malleability.
How can you tweak it so it really sings? That's the joy of creation isn't it?
It's really good as it is. I like it. Play.
How can you tweak it so it really sings? That's the joy of creation isn't it?
It's really good as it is. I like it. Play.
29th Nov 2016 5:20pm
Welcome to DU Sir!! Thank you Sir for my first visit from you........appreciate you sharing thoughts with me......purple smiles & hugs xo :)
