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Kick a humanist in the head, for me
He stopped me with wide-stretched arms, which annoyed me
so I took out my headphones and explained
the flaws to his body language.
"You have now insisted that this conversation
during which you attempt to prise money from me
commences with me being irritated... You have 60 seconds
to sing their sob story."
And, so he went on. Nonsense about how fifty pence a day
could stop children being mistreated or beaten
by parents and their obscure versions of love.
I could see the Christianity in his eyes
so I stopped him at 67 seconds to help him out.
"I'm afraid I can't help you"
"Why," he asked
"50 pence a day is a packet of tobacco a week,
I need to smoke as often as possible, and...
I do not want to protect these children,
the sooner they learn what they'll be growing up in to
the better..."
He looked disgusted with me, so I walked away
from his lack of understanding.
I've heard it all before: 'They're just children.'
If the NSPCC starts putting their funds in to castrating
the spineless fucks that conceive sprogs
for their own sick and twisted pleasure
then they can have my fifty pence a day...
Fuck it I'll double it.
But, for the moment, when there isn't a single
government notion suggesting not to have that child
They can find the next humanist mug
who is probably walking five paces behind me
thinking about how protected he is.
so I took out my headphones and explained
the flaws to his body language.
"You have now insisted that this conversation
during which you attempt to prise money from me
commences with me being irritated... You have 60 seconds
to sing their sob story."
And, so he went on. Nonsense about how fifty pence a day
could stop children being mistreated or beaten
by parents and their obscure versions of love.
I could see the Christianity in his eyes
so I stopped him at 67 seconds to help him out.
"I'm afraid I can't help you"
"Why," he asked
"50 pence a day is a packet of tobacco a week,
I need to smoke as often as possible, and...
I do not want to protect these children,
the sooner they learn what they'll be growing up in to
the better..."
He looked disgusted with me, so I walked away
from his lack of understanding.
I've heard it all before: 'They're just children.'
If the NSPCC starts putting their funds in to castrating
the spineless fucks that conceive sprogs
for their own sick and twisted pleasure
then they can have my fifty pence a day...
Fuck it I'll double it.
But, for the moment, when there isn't a single
government notion suggesting not to have that child
They can find the next humanist mug
who is probably walking five paces behind me
thinking about how protected he is.
Published 4th Aug 2011
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5th Aug 2011 00:40am
It's true; their solution doesn't really get to the real problem. I would have loved to witness this conversation.
7th Aug 2011 7:29am
8th Aug 2011 7:59am
ROFL!!!! that dude isn't a humanist. he's a flat out christian! humanism is a philosophy not a religion. its about acheiving human happiness without religious dogma. hence atheism. I should know Im a humanist lol. if that dude is calling himself a humanist he needs to be more than just kicked in his head. he needs to be totured to death.
