The Fishscale Suite

*part 9 of Young American Perverts*

I - Fishscale Suit, Part One
Ran into Billy Bob on a beer run
He wants to start a band and have some fun
He's got a fishscale suit that makes the girls' hearts run
"Let's call our group The Fabulous Morons!"

After we buy our kegs of beer
Get back to the party, get out the gear
And send Mr. Chatterbox out of here
Send his ass home with Richard Gere

Plug in our instruments and play
Pretty soon we'll all get laid

II - I'm Only In It For The Sluts
I don't give a damn for fortune and fame
I'm only in it for the sluts and the dames
With their cute little panties of Smuckers' fruit
It oughtta be illegal for tasting so good

Running around like naughty French maids
They're getting it on whilst drinking lemonade
While watching a parade in the month of May
You better hurry up and get it on with Fay

Screw the critics, just give me all the groupies
They don't care about talent, they just want nookie
'Cause I'm in a band with talent that's bland
But you know me, I don't give a damn

'Cause I'm only in it for the sluts and dames
Who are only in it for peter pulling games
Puke and dance to our radical song
"Ladies and gentlemen, we're The Fabulous Morons!"

The party has picked up again!

III - Big Beef For Little People
They're watching midget porn in the other room
All the perverts giggle and squeal
At the hookers covered in oatmeal
Now they're showing pornographic cartoons!

There's a man in a dress
And he's making a mess
Smearing whipped cream all over her
Mixing meat with dairy products is not kosher
"I beg to differ!"

There's people in bunny suits
Going at it like rabbits
Charlie is about to puke
While the pervs engage in dirty habits
"Take this stick and whack it!"

Girls wrestling in cream corn
This is really awful porn
All the perverts giggle and squeal
This is worse than having a last meal

Do the Pervert Pant
Do the Pervert Pant
(I like that empty space between Barbie's legs!)
Do the Pervert Pant
Do the Pervert Pant
(Where is she finding all that room to blow the air in?)

IV - Your Plan Was Nothing But A Broccoli Fart Catastrophe
Drink your cereal and eat your milk
Don't overdo it or you'll puke
All of your past intentions
And the poems from your book
Of romance and stupidity
Of the educational trade
And your humdrum lame
Prevented you from winning the game

V - My Crystal Balls
Don't kick me in my crystal balls!

VI - At Least I Don't Smell Like Fish
As we engage into another song
We found out Mr. Chatterbox is gone
How dare his sister call me a bitch
At least I don't smell like fish

What's that fishy smell?
Where's that fishy smell?
Who's that fishy smell?
It's not me, it must be you
Wash your ass you silly buffoon

And as we play on
We learn that she has gone
And as our friends get drunk on beer
We learn that an A&R man is here

A&R Dude:
I wanna sign you as the music industry's slaves!

Billy Bob:
That's the greatest offer I've gotten all day! We wanna be the next big thing just like Mr. Rogers!

The band:
YAY!! We're gonna be bigger than Charlie Brown and his gang!!

VII - Fishscale Suit, Part Two
But just before we are able to sign
In a gorilla suit at the wrong place and time
Drunken Frank thinks that the A&R guy
Is his girlfriend who is Wendy Fry
(Oh no!)

He's trying to make out with the A&R dude
This is not turning out very good...

A&R Dude:
Screw you sickos! I'm out of here!

He tore up the contract and walks out the door
As Drunken Frank passes out on the floor
You know, this has happened to us once before
But you know me, I'm only in it for the whores
(Yay for groupies!)

So much for being part of the industry's plight
But we're too happy and drunk to feel uptight
Billy Bob rocks in his fishscale suit, he's out of sight
"We're The Fabulous Morons! Thank you and goodnight!"

Billy Bob:
I didn't want to be bigger than Mr. Rogers anyway
(We're The Fabulous Morons!)
The band:
We're only in it to get laid! Charlie Brown and his gang can blow away!
(And we act like ding dongs!)

Written by Moonfire-Lark
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