deepundergroundpoetry.com
Gets Mighty Busy Though
.
Back in the early hour
returned
Too early
no case no money
Thankfully still sleeping
no messages
Have to return
Hussle bussle
No idea
Heard someone ahead ask
Follow that man
Caught in the flow of bodies
swept onto a bus
Right one
all the way?
I must be dreaming
Strange man in seat in front
caressing my hand
I didn't stop him
Not quite all the way
a distance to walk
So let me get this right
Just once a week on a Monday?
Yes that's right
Gets mighty busy though
5:24am
Made it
Now to go back
Back in the early hour
returned
Too early
no case no money
Thankfully still sleeping
no messages
Have to return
Hussle bussle
No idea
Heard someone ahead ask
Follow that man
Caught in the flow of bodies
swept onto a bus
Right one
all the way?
I must be dreaming
Strange man in seat in front
caressing my hand
I didn't stop him
Not quite all the way
a distance to walk
So let me get this right
Just once a week on a Monday?
Yes that's right
Gets mighty busy though
5:24am
Made it
Now to go back
Published 17th Oct 2016
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Rose, the imagery in this passage, "Caught in the flow of bodies swept onto a bus " is such a beautifully painted, identifiable event. It reminds me of my days commuting on the subway. Bravo!
18th Oct 2016 6:22am
18th Oct 2016 10:06am
I love how you didn't give all the details of the scenery, so the reader is immediately disoriented as if trying to figure out a dream. It made it far more interesting to me reading through that kind of haze
18th Oct 2016 2:58pm
The scenery still lingers in my head
Though true, all will see diffent structures and landscapes painted herein.
Thankyou for RL too xD
Though true, all will see diffent structures and landscapes painted herein.
Thankyou for RL too xD
