deepundergroundpoetry.com
5: 69: To Not Need You
Excerpt 69 from Journal 5, 'Reaching My True Love'
-From 'Journals To My True Love, Part 2'
My Love, how I thought I needed you...
How I hung my hat on your vision...
How I found such sense in you...
How I created just this; your loves absence...
For no man alive could equal you...
So I loved no man...
The emptiness in my heart fueled the visions
and imaginings of you...
This became a perfect circle of longing and desire...
Now at last, I face this: The complete absence of you...
I cannot create you into existence, only God can
create a man...
So I have learned to not need you...
I can manufacture my own heat to be sustained...
I can love myself as you would have and as God does...
My cup is full and overflowing...
The writings are my vehicle to fulfillment...
The pen is the faucet which fills the cup from
which I drink...
I thirst for nothing more...
I no longer pine for or desire you...
The story is enough...
It has its own life, its own heat, its own
sustenance and fulfillment...
Its combustion is my own life force...
From a volcano deep within it spills forth into the air...
It rises up through me like a well of passion...
And my heart is the pump which draws it up...
Yes, I desire a man...
Yes, he is real in my heart and always with me...
And yes, he is created in my writings to live...
As he rises like the words he turns to ash and
becomes nebulous...
He fills the air of my consciousness to a murky haze...
But I can't grasp him with my fingers...
I can't see him clearly with my eyes...
The haze draws tears and blinds me...
And he is gone as soon as whence he came...
But I know of him when he lands on the ground...
The accumulation tells of his flight and descent...
I see the moss which feeds on him alive and thriving...
and I feel its plush carpet under my bare feet...
Yea, I walk on him for support even as he lays
bare and trodden...
He is never dead although invisible...
His invisibility is what fuels my creative vision...
And I can see him there in beauty as so he
exists in myself...
-From 'Journals To My True Love, Part 2'
My Love, how I thought I needed you...
How I hung my hat on your vision...
How I found such sense in you...
How I created just this; your loves absence...
For no man alive could equal you...
So I loved no man...
The emptiness in my heart fueled the visions
and imaginings of you...
This became a perfect circle of longing and desire...
Now at last, I face this: The complete absence of you...
I cannot create you into existence, only God can
create a man...
So I have learned to not need you...
I can manufacture my own heat to be sustained...
I can love myself as you would have and as God does...
My cup is full and overflowing...
The writings are my vehicle to fulfillment...
The pen is the faucet which fills the cup from
which I drink...
I thirst for nothing more...
I no longer pine for or desire you...
The story is enough...
It has its own life, its own heat, its own
sustenance and fulfillment...
Its combustion is my own life force...
From a volcano deep within it spills forth into the air...
It rises up through me like a well of passion...
And my heart is the pump which draws it up...
Yes, I desire a man...
Yes, he is real in my heart and always with me...
And yes, he is created in my writings to live...
As he rises like the words he turns to ash and
becomes nebulous...
He fills the air of my consciousness to a murky haze...
But I can't grasp him with my fingers...
I can't see him clearly with my eyes...
The haze draws tears and blinds me...
And he is gone as soon as whence he came...
But I know of him when he lands on the ground...
The accumulation tells of his flight and descent...
I see the moss which feeds on him alive and thriving...
and I feel its plush carpet under my bare feet...
Yea, I walk on him for support even as he lays
bare and trodden...
He is never dead although invisible...
His invisibility is what fuels my creative vision...
And I can see him there in beauty as so he
exists in myself...
Published 14th Oct 2016
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Here's some words that came to me while reading your stuff.
Running rivers flow into the sea, naturally pouring themselves out.
Likewise men's penises flow into women's vaginas,
Or rather they enter in and then flow, and continue flowing.
Subservient, like rivers are subordinate to oceans.
All the world's vaginas taken together make up a ocean of emotion,
a great sea of sexuality, a stormy sea of tempest and temptation.
Where do the waters come from that fill the running rivers?
From mountain streams running down from white icecapped peaks.
Likewise, where does the semen come from the flows from horizontal penises?
From mountain-like structures, sexual edifices, with white-coated tops.
(standing penises that are vertical before they become horizontal).
It is the land's lot in life to pour out its rivers to the ocean,
never expecting anything directly in return.
But the ocean does reward the land generously with the rain
made from the evaporation of the ocean's surface.
In the skies white clouds form, milk-white as though to be a form of nourishment.
To the land, the oceans offer the skies as though they were transparent breasts,
filled with clouds, as though a form of milk.
Yes,maybe humans should learn from the example of land and ocean.
Why should women's breasts be for babies,
why couldn't it be for their lovers instead?
PS: of course they already are.
So the question is rhetorical.
Running rivers flow into the sea, naturally pouring themselves out.
Likewise men's penises flow into women's vaginas,
Or rather they enter in and then flow, and continue flowing.
Subservient, like rivers are subordinate to oceans.
All the world's vaginas taken together make up a ocean of emotion,
a great sea of sexuality, a stormy sea of tempest and temptation.
Where do the waters come from that fill the running rivers?
From mountain streams running down from white icecapped peaks.
Likewise, where does the semen come from the flows from horizontal penises?
From mountain-like structures, sexual edifices, with white-coated tops.
(standing penises that are vertical before they become horizontal).
It is the land's lot in life to pour out its rivers to the ocean,
never expecting anything directly in return.
But the ocean does reward the land generously with the rain
made from the evaporation of the ocean's surface.
In the skies white clouds form, milk-white as though to be a form of nourishment.
To the land, the oceans offer the skies as though they were transparent breasts,
filled with clouds, as though a form of milk.
Yes,maybe humans should learn from the example of land and ocean.
Why should women's breasts be for babies,
why couldn't it be for their lovers instead?
PS: of course they already are.
So the question is rhetorical.
1st Nov 2016 1:22am
Thank you for that profound insight and for taking the time to read and comment so thoughtfully.... Your ideas show great creativity and insight..... The love topic is so full of great metaphors to ponder and write about......
