deepundergroundpoetry.com
sickness
You stupid girl I'm not in your head I am you I live and breath you "ha" You hear that tone in my voice I almost made you believe you had no choice, come with me i'll show you the way. i'll make him desire you everyday, Don't be scared I promise I care he will never leave you he will always be there.. Don't you mind the heat beneath your feet walk this way for love you seek, I only have one request remain still while I remove your soul from your chest " Dear lord jesus help me please cure me from this disease this man down here is scary and cruel he is trying to steal my soul." Here now child take my hand for I am the one who understands I am the truth and the way I knew you would call on me today. For peace you seek from within i'll cleanse you from all your sin only then will you find your hearts desire for I am your loving father...
Published 1st Aug 2011
| Edited 2nd Aug 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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hello darklilslave,welcome.
You stupid girl I'm not in your head
I am you, I live and breath you "ha"
You hear that tone in my voice
almost made you believe you had no choice
come with me i'll show you the way.
i'll make him desire you everyday
Don't be scared I promise I care
he wont leave,he'll always be there
just thought i would break it up some to see if you think it reads better.what do you think?
it's just me i think,i find it hard to read poems in the format you have written it in,thats not to say it's not good or my way is better.
there is one or two spell checks,which is to be expected.
ill=i'll otherwise it reads like ill as in sick. new-knew cleance=cleanse and look out for where you need comma's and periods.
all in it is a good poem,fair play!
You stupid girl I'm not in your head
I am you, I live and breath you "ha"
You hear that tone in my voice
almost made you believe you had no choice
come with me i'll show you the way.
i'll make him desire you everyday
Don't be scared I promise I care
he wont leave,he'll always be there
just thought i would break it up some to see if you think it reads better.what do you think?
it's just me i think,i find it hard to read poems in the format you have written it in,thats not to say it's not good or my way is better.
there is one or two spell checks,which is to be expected.
ill=i'll otherwise it reads like ill as in sick. new-knew cleance=cleanse and look out for where you need comma's and periods.
all in it is a good poem,fair play!
2nd Aug 2011 6:22am
Thanks my written piece was done as you have shown but since I'm using the internet on my phone for some odd reason it wont allow me to do that so all my poems are unfortunately typed out the same way....
