deepundergroundpoetry.com
Full: Journal Collection - Exhibit D
we're crashed here
perfect in the half-light
midnight, half-asleep affection
a leg over
hand to chest -
the heat knocks it right out of you
fucking like that
soaking wet
getting loud, trying
hard enough
not to startle the Germans next door
growling low, blood coursing
could feel the power rising in him
hauling me into it as he twisted hands through my hair
taking what's his
even though we both know
he was all mine in the taking
and we'll just have to argue that again
after coffee in the morning
we had a long day
a good day
ending in the hush of a Hindu temple
rain plummeting
then gently dissipating into the arenga roof
and he found out great things, asked questions
became proficient in aspects of the island's economics
while i bravely staved off small children
sent to rob us blind
in 22 different languages
the clouds gave up and glowed as i watched him
handsome, composed, watching it all
storing, analysing all his gathered information
began to understand better his process
that i've been gawking at from half a world away
wondered what he thinks of us
if we're even on the same book
if he'd already written one in his head
and how much better was it
than this one
then he kissed my shoulder
muttered a quiet
"you got robbed"
asked if i'd remembered to put on sunscreen
decided there
it wouldn't matter even if he'd written
just another one
into the story in his head
we're all sailing our own
into oblivion anyway
and if we're lucky
we end up naked in morning half-light
coconut coffee in the works
and at least twenty seconds
in the eyes of one
who makes everything
smile
perfect in the half-light
midnight, half-asleep affection
a leg over
hand to chest -
the heat knocks it right out of you
fucking like that
soaking wet
getting loud, trying
hard enough
not to startle the Germans next door
growling low, blood coursing
could feel the power rising in him
hauling me into it as he twisted hands through my hair
taking what's his
even though we both know
he was all mine in the taking
and we'll just have to argue that again
after coffee in the morning
we had a long day
a good day
ending in the hush of a Hindu temple
rain plummeting
then gently dissipating into the arenga roof
and he found out great things, asked questions
became proficient in aspects of the island's economics
while i bravely staved off small children
sent to rob us blind
in 22 different languages
the clouds gave up and glowed as i watched him
handsome, composed, watching it all
storing, analysing all his gathered information
began to understand better his process
that i've been gawking at from half a world away
wondered what he thinks of us
if we're even on the same book
if he'd already written one in his head
and how much better was it
than this one
then he kissed my shoulder
muttered a quiet
"you got robbed"
asked if i'd remembered to put on sunscreen
decided there
it wouldn't matter even if he'd written
just another one
into the story in his head
we're all sailing our own
into oblivion anyway
and if we're lucky
we end up naked in morning half-light
coconut coffee in the works
and at least twenty seconds
in the eyes of one
who makes everything
smile
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 22
reading list entries 5
comments 27
reads 1418
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The author encourages honest critique.
Re. Full: Journal Collection - Exhibit D
ah Jesta this write gave me the warmest of smiles it's a beauty of a write and so moving..
great journal of a trip of a lifetime i'm sure :)
love Brenda
great journal of a trip of a lifetime i'm sure :)
love Brenda
3
Re: Re. Full: Journal Collection - Exhibit D
10th Oct 2016 1:59pm
well thank you, Brenda
indeed, the trip-n-fall-too-far of a lifetime... and with so much to say it was tough to pick one moment,so glad you felt it, madam [:
indeed, the trip-n-fall-too-far of a lifetime... and with so much to say it was tough to pick one moment,so glad you felt it, madam [:
Re. Full: Journal Collection - Exhibit D
10th Oct 2016 7:00am
This my dearest friend is the most breathtakingly beautiful love poem I think I have ever read.
You have stirred emotions in me, I can't begin to describe.
I wish I could throw some critique of value at it, but frankly... How could this story be any more perfect?
Wonderful stuff
Blue Skies at you both
Al-x-
You have stirred emotions in me, I can't begin to describe.
I wish I could throw some critique of value at it, but frankly... How could this story be any more perfect?
Wonderful stuff
Blue Skies at you both
Al-x-
1
Re: Re. Full: Journal Collection - Exhibit D
10th Oct 2016 3:12pm
oh Al, you're so sweet....I have others stashed away because this one will never be complete to me - but I am happy you got the good vibes that seem to be going around these days. [: much love, m'dear
J-dawg
J-dawg
Re: Re. Full: Journal Collection - Exhibit D
18th Oct 2016 9:18am
Ahh Miss dawg!
You called me "sweet" ! Made my day all awsome and stuff... Yeah, I do think the good vibes need to linger for as long as is possible.
It's good to keep some stashed away. I try keep a few hidden, every now & again they raise thier heads "hello" they say OMW! That's when the mirror feels completely blasphemed.
Popped into to take another look... Impressed it's holding the page there, quite comfortable in it's ink. Like it even more now.
You called me "sweet" ! Made my day all awsome and stuff... Yeah, I do think the good vibes need to linger for as long as is possible.
It's good to keep some stashed away. I try keep a few hidden, every now & again they raise thier heads "hello" they say OMW! That's when the mirror feels completely blasphemed.
Popped into to take another look... Impressed it's holding the page there, quite comfortable in it's ink. Like it even more now.
1
Re. Full: Journal Collection - Exhibit D
Anonymous
10th Oct 2016 7:08am
Jesta... Y'know it's uncanny, this poem could almost be an echo reply of another poem I read on here this week that blew me away.
"began to understand better his process
that i've been gawking at from half a world away"
I always find it interesting on a human level, the things we will do out of attraction, as women. A moment perhaps; some mad hope. I hope it mattered to you, and that you lived. Really lived.
Beautiful story telling, lady. People are knocking them out of the park lately!
Thanks for the read.
"began to understand better his process
that i've been gawking at from half a world away"
I always find it interesting on a human level, the things we will do out of attraction, as women. A moment perhaps; some mad hope. I hope it mattered to you, and that you lived. Really lived.
Beautiful story telling, lady. People are knocking them out of the park lately!
Thanks for the read.
2
Re: Re. Full: Journal Collection - Exhibit D
10th Oct 2016 7:27pm
ya know, you could be onto something there, Missy [:
living is the done thing these days, for me, i hope... just don't feel there's enough time to settle for anything else anymore. getting too old for that shit. [:
it's such a delight to get a nod from your good self, Missy. i've always appreciated your poetry eyes.
living is the done thing these days, for me, i hope... just don't feel there's enough time to settle for anything else anymore. getting too old for that shit. [:
it's such a delight to get a nod from your good self, Missy. i've always appreciated your poetry eyes.
Re: Re. Full: Journal Collection - Exhibit D
Anonymous
15th Oct 2016 1:29pm
Thank you so much for the nod... and yes. Living, really living.
Good on you, lady.
Good on you, lady.
0
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10th Oct 2016 8:45pm
I think what I like best about this poem is the sense of serenity, of place, that builds as I'm reading it. To me the natural, calm tempo has a way of mimicking the laminar flow of a solid relationship better than anything the words themselves could say.
Some writes should be held up as the means by which we measure our life against the ideal, and this falls into that category for me.
Some writes should be held up as the means by which we measure our life against the ideal, and this falls into that category for me.
3
Re: .
11th Oct 2016 9:17pm
i've always loved how specific you can be in your comments, Mike... i kind of felt that same sort of chilled out, solid under-flow when i read it back to myself after a sleep, which warmed me to it enough to let it out here on its own. [:
thank you so much for saying so...
a toast, then, to the ideal [:
thank you so much for saying so...
a toast, then, to the ideal [:
Re. Full: Journal Collection - Exhibit D
10th Oct 2016 10:33pm
This is the epitome of paying attention to the minute details others take for granted in the daily living of life.
Those tiny details of each moment leading into the next until the day sleeps and morning wakes ready to repeat
life. That's when you know it's good. That's when you know it's great.
Really enjoyed this read.
Those tiny details of each moment leading into the next until the day sleeps and morning wakes ready to repeat
life. That's when you know it's good. That's when you know it's great.
Really enjoyed this read.
1
Re: Re. Full: Journal Collection - Exhibit D
11th Oct 2016 10:17pm
Indeed, the small ways we touch each other automatically can mean the most sometimes.... and when the good things are so abundant, it's hard to swing a cat and *not* hit a few. [:
it's wonderful to see that the joy got through, thank you for leaving your thoughts, Ahavati [:
it's wonderful to see that the joy got through, thank you for leaving your thoughts, Ahavati [:
Re. Full: Journal Collection - Exhibit D
Anonymous
11th Oct 2016 2:25am
Glad to see your poems again, miss. This one is real gem. Manages to capture one of those fleeting moments that are often so hard to crystallize.
Cheers.
1
Re: Re. Full: Journal Collection - Exhibit D
11th Oct 2016 9:22pm
means a lot coming from you, m'dear. if a little sparkle can charm you, i'm happy. [:
Re. Full: Journal Collection - Exhibit D
Anonymous
- Edited 30th Dec 2016 6:12am
11th Oct 2016 3:40am
This poem resonates with me in such a way that it's taken me nearly a day to figure out how to comment on it. The flow from sleepy affection to erotic to the intimacy of shared experience is all centered in the warmth of such apparent love.
The anticipation of arguing over who's actually being taken, who belongs to who in those moments, gives so much insight into the depth, chemistry, and comfort of the relationship. Getting the chance to observe the one whose mind you've been gawking at from afar is a yearning that I think more than a few who read this will understand, and experiencing the actualisation through your evocative words is palpable.
I've reread this poem several times now, trying to gather my thoughts for a comment. Without fail, your last four lines bring tears to my eyes. Because, yes.. if even just for twenty seconds to be able to be in the eyes, to connect to that person... it's a very powerful moment in your poem for me.
It is a beautiful piece of work, and I thank you for sharing it.
The anticipation of arguing over who's actually being taken, who belongs to who in those moments, gives so much insight into the depth, chemistry, and comfort of the relationship. Getting the chance to observe the one whose mind you've been gawking at from afar is a yearning that I think more than a few who read this will understand, and experiencing the actualisation through your evocative words is palpable.
I've reread this poem several times now, trying to gather my thoughts for a comment. Without fail, your last four lines bring tears to my eyes. Because, yes.. if even just for twenty seconds to be able to be in the eyes, to connect to that person... it's a very powerful moment in your poem for me.
It is a beautiful piece of work, and I thank you for sharing it.
1
Re: Re. Full: Journal Collection - Exhibit D
11th Oct 2016 10:27pm
what a beautiful and generous comment! to connect with a reader on that level is one of the most uplifting feelings, and what i like best about writing. it's much more difficult for me lately, maybe because i can't focus or keep coherence very well without my thoughts scattering the poem, but when it's not thoughts so much as the feeling that's communicated, that's when i know i got something right in there. chuffed to bits, miss keys. thank you [:
Re. Full: Journal Collection - Exhibit D
20th Oct 2016 12:06pm
we never get enough of coffee & those particular eyes.
so exquisite to sojourn in these sensuous rooms...
so exquisite to sojourn in these sensuous rooms...
0
Re: Re. Full: Journal Collection - Exhibit D
20th Oct 2016 8:02pm
it is, it is....in certainly a fan of coffee and those particular eyes. [:
so pleased to see you wandering through, JFed
so pleased to see you wandering through, JFed
Re. Full: Journal Collection - Exhibit D
This poem creates much so scenery with so few words. It transported me into its world, and it felt so comfortable. I really enjoyed it. Thanks.
1
Re: Re. Full: Journal Collection - Exhibit D
8th Nov 2016 8:36pm
i do love this world, so i'm most pleased you could feel the kick-back-in the-moment of it...haven't had the pleasure of reading you yet, new-ish person, so thank you for stopping in, and welcome to DU [:
Re: Re. Full: Journal Collection - Exhibit D
8th Nov 2016 8:37pm
Re. Full: Journal Collection - Exhibit D
11th Jan 2017 10:40pm
The soaring range of this write is breathtaking. Reminded me of Paul Simon's "Dangling Conversation".
1
Re. Full: Journal Collection - Exhibit D
14th May 2017 1:45pm
I just saw you on the front the page and thought "I've not read Jesta in a while" so with the most relaxing instrumental music in my ears (I always have music in my ears) I read you.
This piece takes me on such a moving journey, like watching an excerpt from a romantic movie and wanting them to meet at the end to live this moment over and over again because it was so beautiful and too wonderful just be left frozen in time.
Even in all of it's beauty and warmth and deep sighs of bliss, I still felt an underlying sadness.
Such a tangible piece and with the music I have in my head, it's so enchanting. :)
This piece takes me on such a moving journey, like watching an excerpt from a romantic movie and wanting them to meet at the end to live this moment over and over again because it was so beautiful and too wonderful just be left frozen in time.
Even in all of it's beauty and warmth and deep sighs of bliss, I still felt an underlying sadness.
Such a tangible piece and with the music I have in my head, it's so enchanting. :)
1
Re. Full: Journal Collection - Exhibit D
10th Jun 2017 4:31pm
This might be one of the best things I have ever read. The closing sentiment is so true and so beautifully stated. A brilliant work of art.
1
Re. Full: Journal Collection - Exhibit D
6th Dec 2017 1:09am
Not just saying this because you commented on my post. This is extremely beautiful and something we should all be able to relate to. True for me in any case. It takes me back to my youth and pings with the joy of expectation. Brilliant.
1
Re. Full: Journal Collection - Exhibit D
22nd Jan 2018 5:51pm
This is splendid from start to finish.
the arrangement,poetic style,can capture of moments
it's day dreamesque yet a journal entry
not only does the imagery and feeling bleed through but it fantastic
and how on earth do you get 584 reads without it being an erotic poem on here? lol
i feel like i have to sell my soul to the devil to get 30 reads hahaha
regardless
amazing poem and i really look forward to reading more from you in the future.
well penned Jestalessa
keep'em coming.
the arrangement,poetic style,can capture of moments
it's day dreamesque yet a journal entry
not only does the imagery and feeling bleed through but it fantastic
and how on earth do you get 584 reads without it being an erotic poem on here? lol
i feel like i have to sell my soul to the devil to get 30 reads hahaha
regardless
amazing poem and i really look forward to reading more from you in the future.
well penned Jestalessa
keep'em coming.
1
Re. Full: Journal Collection - Exhibit D
I am commenting 6 yrs on from its writing, but I felt the atmosphere of love, warmth, intimacy the descriptions convey, Love that first verse - can visualise a picture of eagerness in the bed at same time as trying not to impinge on the next bedroom:
we're crashed here
perfect in the half-light
midnight, half-asleep affection
a leg over
hand to chest -
the heat knocks it right out of you
fucking like that
soaking wet
getting loud, trying
hard enough
not to startle the Germans next door
the last lines convey what one likes a morning after to be like:
in the eyes of one
who makes everything
smile
we're crashed here
perfect in the half-light
midnight, half-asleep affection
a leg over
hand to chest -
the heat knocks it right out of you
fucking like that
soaking wet
getting loud, trying
hard enough
not to startle the Germans next door
the last lines convey what one likes a morning after to be like:
in the eyes of one
who makes everything
smile
0