deepundergroundpoetry.com
Trapped Little Girl
Do you know fears of little girls
Boogie men that creep behind closed doors
Shadowed images dancing on walls
Sad and scared faces hidden under blankets
Low whispers of prayers
Father do you hear me
Please make them go away
Tear stained eyes
What’s wrong with me
Why do I attract such sick individuals
I can’t be beautiful
But then again maybe that’s it
So I curse my looks
For it keeps bringing more of them
Cries remain silent
If I lay on my belly
Perfectly still
Perhaps he’ll think I’m sleeping
And go back to where he came from
God, why can’t my father see
I need him to protect me
From boogey men that creep
I need him to get rid of them
These grown men are sick
Filled with such self-hatred
I grew to blame myself
Overcame those feelings
When I finally realized
It wasn’t me
It was them
Still suffer from deep wounded scars
And fears of boogey men
In and out the house
Grow up feeling
You are your own protector
But long to just feel safe
Triggers remain
And although you show a strong face
Secretly the land mines go off in your head
Causing you to react a certain way
That may get misinterpreted
Because no one knows the true depth
Of the skeletons
That lay in the back of your closet
Hidden behind trap doors
Guarded with chains and bolts
Wondering…..
How much could you ever reveal
Will the one you love
Love you still
Once it is revealed
Just how tainted you really are
Which has a lot to do why
You push away
When one gets a bit too close
Because if they ever truly saw
Truly knew
The real you
Could they
Would they
Love you still
All rights reserved to BSavvy 2016
Published 6th Oct 2016
| Edited 7th Oct 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 1
comments 19
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6th Oct 2016 5:04pm
lovely lady you are indeed beautiful.. this is such a brave write i'm sure will help other's who have been tormented this way..
love Brenda
love Brenda
7th Oct 2016 3:57pm
6th Oct 2016 5:17pm
7th Oct 2016 3:58pm
6th Oct 2016 5:57pm
Oh the tears your words bring to my eyes. You could have been writing my story, or that of many I know. This is a beautifully tragic and empowering write here, my lady. I recognized so many of these sentiments in my own writing. Always damaged perhaps, but we can heal. Many hugs...
Willow
Willow
7th Oct 2016 4:03pm
I write these pieces not only to bring a healing to myself but to bring a healing to others as well... They say when you share your pain there is a healing in letting it out and while I can't verbally share certain things I am still sharing right?? We have to face those demons in order to overcome them... I am sending you a tight hug right back, because we are survivors and never a victim..... We will be alright....
~BSavvy
~BSavvy
6th Oct 2016 7:06pm
B Sav this is painfully beautiful
and as a father this really digs in the gut
your conveyance no matter the topic
is as clear and as flawless as ever
..a poetic beauty you are indeed
and as a father this really digs in the gut
your conveyance no matter the topic
is as clear and as flawless as ever
..a poetic beauty you are indeed
7th Oct 2016 4:06pm
My sweet Naajir, thank you so much for being a constant encourager and supporter, I really appreciate it..... I may not be able to write to please everyone, but I am happy there are those that love my style of writing and can feel the emotions I transfer from me to the pen and paper..... Blessings to you.... Hugs...
~BSavvy
~BSavvy
6th Oct 2016 8:38pm
7th Oct 2016 4:06pm
6th Oct 2016 11:25pm
yes they will! A brave and truly courageous write! one thing I disagree with is the 'apparent' conclusion that the self is tainted. For it is abundantly clear from the preceding part of the poem i.e.
"When I finally realized
It wasn’t me
It was them "
it won't be love least not in the true sense if it is conditional.... extremely evocative write BSavvy!!
"When I finally realized
It wasn’t me
It was them "
it won't be love least not in the true sense if it is conditional.... extremely evocative write BSavvy!!
The rational mind understands that logic but there is a part of you that doesn't see it so clear and so the psychological repercussion of past events that have occurred leaves an imprint in your mind that you are indeed tainted.... It's not real, but you still perceive yourself that way and you just pray to God you find love and get to be loved unconditionally.... Some people won't even look at you as tainted, but again it is all in your own mind, trauma can sometimes do that.... Rational vs irrational at it again.... Thank you so much KDAMB, I truly appreciate your words and the love shown.... :)
~BSavvy
~BSavvy
7th Oct 2016 10:17am
My sweet, sassy B Sav... How could one NOT love you!? You
have a power the makes you SUPER...n that's inner n outter beauty...fuck the naysayers! U
are love personified :)
have a power the makes you SUPER...n that's inner n outter beauty...fuck the naysayers! U
are love personified :)
7th Oct 2016 4:14pm
Awww, my dearest Poetikmind thank you for being one of my biggest supporters.... I truly appreciate you and your words of encouragement..... I love your comment and so on that note may my light ever so shine that many will see the glory of God through my eyes and my smile.... Hugs....
~BSavvy
~BSavvy
"Triggers remain
And although you show a strong face
Secretly the land mines go off in your head
Causing you to react a certain way
That may get misinterpreted
Because no one knows the true depth
Of the skeletons
That lay in the back of your closet
Hidden behind trap doors
Guarded with chains and bolts " <--- Preach! Folks have no clue what a person was born into, going through, and trying to overcome. We all have skeletons,... it just a matter of how and when we bury them, in order to move on.
This was good reading, BSavvy! Yes indeed! :) Happy to see you dusting your pen off...xo
21st Oct 2016 8:05pm
Thank you my lovely..... People have no idea what lurks behind someone's smile.... I always say actress was made because of things they have gone through in order to keep it hidden.... Hugs....
~BSavvy
~BSavvy
17th Oct 2016 6:02pm
Wow oh wow i dont even know where to begin commenting this..to call it heartfelt would be an understatement. .swear i felt each word as if they were my very own...this moved me in indescribable ways..tears as i write this...thank you for giving that little girl and every little girl who has been thru something similar a voice..a way out :)
21st Oct 2016 8:08pm
I'm glad this piece was able to touch you and to give your little girl a voice because Lord knows that little girls voice has been quiet for years.... The things that people hide behind their smiles and feel they have to.... But, sometimes in telling our story you never know who and how many others it may help so you have to leave yourself vulnerable and transparent so it can reach others that can truly relate that may not be able to yet speak.... Hugs..... Thank you...
~BSavvy
~BSavvy
Eeesh.. this was mind, soul and heart boggling.
am speechless.
-Howlings
am speechless.
-Howlings
