deepundergroundpoetry.com
Social Anxiety
In a crowd of people,
with my eyes locked on my phone,
wishing i was here alone,
but no..
I am surrounded by small talk,
i wish i could just walk around the block
never stop,
as the time ticks on,
I am sorry but I am just not that strong,
I want to say something though,
we all go though shit i know,
but i am paralyzed by the unknown,
I got a frog in my throat,
a bandage on my soul,
maybe i should go,
but you want me to stay,
suck it up and start to play the part,
look smart and well put together,
but my body slightly shakes like a feather caught in stormy weather,
my thoughts bounce off each other,
words slip out of mouth,
my face turns red,
please excuse me and just forget what i said,
I can't blame the trauma,
but i promise i don't wanna be like this,
Living in a regret,
one day i will get over it,
but for now just forget I am here.
so near but never farther,
something like a martyr,
something i will never be a part of
(written in 10 minutes with little proof reading. I apologize for any errors, I will come back and correct them later but i needed to get this off my chest)
with my eyes locked on my phone,
wishing i was here alone,
but no..
I am surrounded by small talk,
i wish i could just walk around the block
never stop,
as the time ticks on,
I am sorry but I am just not that strong,
I want to say something though,
we all go though shit i know,
but i am paralyzed by the unknown,
I got a frog in my throat,
a bandage on my soul,
maybe i should go,
but you want me to stay,
suck it up and start to play the part,
look smart and well put together,
but my body slightly shakes like a feather caught in stormy weather,
my thoughts bounce off each other,
words slip out of mouth,
my face turns red,
please excuse me and just forget what i said,
I can't blame the trauma,
but i promise i don't wanna be like this,
Living in a regret,
one day i will get over it,
but for now just forget I am here.
so near but never farther,
something like a martyr,
something i will never be a part of
(written in 10 minutes with little proof reading. I apologize for any errors, I will come back and correct them later but i needed to get this off my chest)
Published 4th Oct 2016
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The author encourages honest critique.
You had me at the title...I suffer and it sucks sometimes. No one even realizes that my chit ~ chattiness is the defense mechanisms in me going on full speed. Hence I drink or used to take pills. I would always be in awe of those that were never bothered by such a thing...or are they and they too, suffer in silence?? hmmmm sorry Im rambling...Love this. <3
4th Oct 2016 1:57am
yeah, if i am not sober it is not as big of an issue.. but trying to be in large social situation while in recovery proves to be very difficult and reminds me why i used in the first place.
I can appreciate how you feel, sincerely. Sometimes, its a matter of one minute at a time, babe.
Anonymous
4th Oct 2016 1:55am
I never could get the hang of small talk, and crowds completely overwhelm and intimidate me. I relate to this very well.
8th Oct 2016 4:49am
The flow is nice. No edit needed. I get that whole nervous , worried, anxiety, I want to disappear feeling as well. Nice write
