SEX by NUMBERS

I love even numbers
except when they're odd.
 
I'm not superstitious,
I count in my head
 
whenever I have sex
no matter the kind,
 
on the phone, in the car
or even online.
 
I keep track of dates and
each category
 
and sub-categories,
each one I recall, like
 
places, addresses
the kisses, caresses,
 
my color of lipstick
and if he had glasses,
 
what he wore and I wore
before we got naked,
 
how often we climaxed
and in which positions.
 
I know it must seem kinda strange,  
I promise you I'm not deranged
 
it's just a queer habit of mine,
a hobby of numbers and time  
 
though some of its my love of sex,    
I've copied receipts, cancelled checks,
 
it's just the accountant in me
a bonus for you actually,
 
'cause next year before the 15th
I'll have filed your taxes for free!