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ECLIPSED

 
'Pitch-black in these early hours
Forms of clouds like dusty towers
Sprawled limbs across the bed
Another night of weeping dread
Slumbered back into my sheets
Pitter-patters from the streets
Never mind, the time was fake
Without a bird-song was I, to wake?'
 

Confinement I dreamt of
Illusion of false love
 

She spun herself upon my floor
Encircled frame around her core
Twisting with pleasure, a meek yell
Devoured by the hounds of Hell
 

Sighing with daemonic lust
Breath from out her lavish bust
Rang in ear like savage gust
Came an ithyphallic thrust
 

Screamed like the night screams of the sun
Trapped in this terror I had spun
Coveting the placebo's truth
Unearthed myself from twisted root
Sweating profusely
Arms hung loosely
Fitted to a phobic man
Gentle stirring of the fan
This pinnacle of my fear
Drawing close to my nadir
Dripping soon into the hole
The hourglass is running full



'Sipped on port wine
One moment divine
Pulled the curtain wide
The darkness had lied'
 

Grey morning skies
Blocked the sunrise
With curtains closed
Slept in so late
Until 3:08
On these bleak days
I'd stay within a daze
Decided upon a stroll


 
'Outside, I see a painting of white and brown
Beautiful dreariness of this godless town'
 

I'd gaze at the falling snow
Losing sight for moments, like spastic dreams
So many specks, like myself, insignificant
Don't want to be like this
Looking at photographs of my past self
Seeing no change in me, same misery
Save pleasantries, they're no use to me
And my dreams, like a portal to happiness
Always there, but never in reach
A prisoner within myself


Oh, how I hated the passers-by
Obsessing over imagery
Their drunken narcissistic eyes
Holding on to vanity
Gaudy mirrors show the same faces
Differed classes leave the same traces
And yet, living behind decrepit walls
Ripped from the scenery
Happiness surrounding me
Naught is gained, my head implores
A plethora of crushed desires
Bind me every night like wires


Not a ray of light shines upon me
And I long for what was never there
Someone to love me
To warm my melancholy soul
Who's embrace I could fall into and get lost
Someone to rewrite the pages of my heart
Someone...
 

Shock had struck me, suddenly
That amidst my weary reverie
My chest begot my tired limbs
Took me where my longing swims
Stood parallel to this abode
To lost love's home I somehow strode
 

Yes, it is me...
Bound to be the waiting one
Broken under cruelest sun
Bore a need that ran so deep
Body came whilst brain asleep
Benign, my appearance here
Benighted by every fear
Black swan with an eager tongue
Brought the undoing you'd slung
 

A step from being of hollow core
Departed I, from settled score
Her eyes will draw her back to me
For loneliness is born to be
She knew of bereavement's affair
Yet made bereavement mine to bear
Dear God, I shan't be hurt for longer
This broken heart is growing stronger
But still yearning for her...
A small proportion of me
One particle of regret, of tragic nature
Not seeing eye-to-eye with me
Like a rope being tugged by it's ends
Desire and sense, always pulling
Every waking hour I breathe
 

All aside for now
All self-infliction stored
Lighting a cigarette, I view for a moment
Projected through smoke, a fickle figure
Sickle-smile thrown back at me
Knew as soon as made clear
The air turned stagnant
Mouth turned arid
And he...
Like an ember, licked at hidden wounds
Antagonized my grace
Cognizant, his thoughts became a tomb
There's nothing of that face
Not unlike him to try me for a fool
Ugly times were in that space
Petty quarrels like a stone tool
 

But I left there, only forward
That was the start of something beautiful
Not even a photograph to be seen therein
The poison was out of me
When he was gone, the anger went with him
And I was free...
 

Free from that hate, the useless spite
The grudges and the fights
Whispers filled their greedy ears
One face to pretend, another to smear
 

But shallow men get rained on
And karma won't forget
Continued lust for dominance
Will break you in the end

 
Assuming the guise of one that cared at all
Funny how little their memories rekindled
I would love to see you try, to watch you fall
My interest in friendship has already dwindled


 
'Let's disappear in the nothingness together
Stay entrapped in each other's arms forever
Bleed dry our thoughts of emptiness
And fill each other's loneliness'

 
A sad song then came on
Ceased the evil grin I wore
Sought refuge in sadness
Striking the right chords
With immediate release
Tears salt the ground
Thinking of what I've lost
Or never had at all...

 
Preparation could not surmount the blow
Those eyes could speak to me in my secret mind
And spoke only of misery and torture
But that smile lit the room, somehow
I never could understand
How brave and virtuous one could be
To leave you with not but lessons
To leave you with strength to carry on...


Lost sleep for days
And fell into dismay
Lucifer was watching me
This I presumed to be
Everybody leaves me
Nobody can even see
Now I feel like dying
What's the use in trying?


 
'I felt like staying asleep for years
And let my heart become eclipsed
But I'd stopped from this...'

 
As days were passing by
The sadness eased
Selfish to mourn the dead for long
When Death arrived far too late
Can't blame yourself forever
For something uncontrollable
Prayed for him
Prayed for myself for the first time
In 12 years, I prayed for a chance
Just one chance to revive what I had lost
The one loss, the only loss that mattered
The more I know, the less I understand
The less I care, the more I demand
And underneath these gentle stars
I may just weep myself to sleep
With every wound, I have a scar
And every scar I have, I keep
Not to remember the hurt they gave
But as a reminder of the man they saved
And when the sun goes down tonight
I don't turn on electric light
Instead I'd like to watch the sky
And daydream that I could fly
 

Paintbrush of the moon at full
Take the night into your arms
Colourless but never dull
Silent lands with subtle charms


 
'I wished to refrain
But longing remains...'

 
I wish my love was here tonight
To bathe with me in her darkest light
And mend these wounds with our love's fire
Burning with intense desire
To lift her up and carry her
To help her feel less insecure
To hold her if she feels deceived
And promise her I'll never leave
To have her in my arms so near
And feel her tender lips
Forming
"I love you" in my ear
Would be the greatest gift...

 

'It seems as though
This Winter snow
Could be the last one
Spring may soon arrive
The season of life
Could be a fast one'

 
Threshed from happiness
As a crop of despair
Jest of atonement
The air stood still

 
The puzzle of my mind
Rotary silhouette of loss
Wires tangled, intertwined
Advent of the soothing frost

 
Porcelain eyes
Gazing at what was once therein
Moss disguised
This season took me in it's wing
In the April rain
Tears I may have shed
Are but a drop
In an unending ocean
Never to be heard
Nor be thought of

 
But what is a tear to me
But a one-way mirror for all to see
Emotions to vouch for me?
Is that what tears are meant to be?

 
I took one last stroll
Heartbreak had taken it's toll
This broken soul has no home
Off to venture the realm alone
Such beauty is innocence
Harpsichord in the distance
Faint whisper of dying tree
In this forest of lethe


 
'Breath became a wilted sound
No ease from loneliness I found
Laid beneath that eclipsed ground
Another corpse to fill the mound'
Written by UbiquitousVoid (. . . . . . . . .)
Published | Edited 17th Oct 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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