mad'ouk ~ {in collaboration with the incomparable - Shadoe- Katja}

al, you are the kiffest oke for writing with me...
... this was a wonderful experience
baie dankie
xo

Dude! The pleasure was all mine.
You are a unbelievable force in this artform.

Your writing is amaiseballs

Ke'elaboga
Al -x-

Elegant write, and picturesque in many ways. On the surface it's a beautiful lyrical offering. What I would say, is don't forget to keep track of the message you are trying to convey with the piece - I think it may have been slightly buried here. I wouldn't say that I "got it" totally, In fact I'd go as far as to say that the middle two stanzas would work eloquently as a stand alone piece.. but there are some gems in here. The idea of signatures on the sand, drives this very ethereal quality to the piece, another dimension. Some how I think the multiple dimensions here are important to this piece.  

Thanks for the read.

Thank you for your kindness of reading us and your opinion and comments.

We are so grateful for those important pointers.

We appreciate your giving us your time and knowledge.

Blue Skies and Love at you

Al-x-

I get a touch of Rimbaud's Drunken Boat from this, but saying that, I was more dazzled by the words than by the theme... Would u care to elaborate on the theme?

Nice comment... Thanks a million.

So this particular piece, delves very much into an expression, for two established writers to move into an entirely new genre together. Much like in music, the freestyle / freeflo poetry form is becoming increasingly popular. (I hasten to say that my comment here, hardly refers to just throwing words on a page. The piece took a lot of very hard work) but the freestyle theme needed to maintain itself. So we took the time to research and provide words that when molded wouldn't need to bound to anything more than the stanza in which they reside.... Now go read it again... Stanza for stanza. I'm in awe of my partners tallent in this, she really concetrated on breaking boundaries and growing ability here. I don't think another poet / ess would have put quite as much effort and self into the writing.

Thank you so much for leaving your mark here.

Al

in awe of this write so magnificent I am blown away by the coming together of two such powerhouse writers such as you and Katja..

love Brenda

Thank you my Crim

I have been sincerely blessed in my period on DU. I have met with and written with some of the most poetic minds in the world.

It truly is a honour I hold dear in my heart.

Love @ You

Al-x-

I do not think you two know how
amazing this is.. the opticals
in my mind are going mad..

Love this and thank you for the
fresh airs..


-Howlings

oh dahlin'

You're so kind and so supportive.
We are so gratefull for your love and fellowship, you are a gem of a person.

Much love
Blue Skies @ You

Al-x-

It's brilliant, loved it....

Thank you so much

Blue Skies @ You

I won't speculate as to who wrote what, but I will say this poem has a nice flow to it, a decent and playful grasp of language (I particularly liked the word "nothingward"), and strong images. A little more clarity re: the subject matter might help, as I feel that it's about something important, especially due to the mention of the Persian Gulf, but the vagueness of the poem as a whole obscures it for me; JMHO, of course. Thank you for the read. - Jack xxx