Wish list for a new home

Science wants another home
cause we fucked up our own
hey!look...a rhyme!
so here is my wishlist

We need a bigger planet
preferably the size Jupiter
just to fit all our stuff there

You know:
dildos
war axes
slaves
shopping malls
and women

Then naturally with one
that has tons of radiation
because we all know
that' how people get super powers
fact

A planet preferably with
just to say
"HAH! I was right!"
or if it could say
"You were wrong"

If it could have a mountain
not just any mountain
one made of custard

So yeah
uh readers
make sure NASA gets this please
otherwise we'll just have to live with earth

Oh wait wait wait
one last thing
No
I am lying
2 last thing

The air must be 80% laughing gas
and the creatures must be able to fly
sounds reasonable

Good luck NASA