what was; let's not
it’s a blue opera: the craquelure odyssey of a heart.
the blank wall stares back at me, as devoid of art as I am.
I’d put on a crash helmet & walk thru that wall, if I could
find her on the other side.
I never figured a dame like her, shy as the blush on a pink rose,
would open for a dusty nighthawk like me. she should have
noticed the ghostly kissprints on my face, & heard the buzz of a
warning: no. not him.
being selfish, I take as much from a woman as she’s got to lose.
her eyes, her lips, the smell of her hair; her throat, that comes
easily to the brace of my hand. all of her beauty, in the sheets,
where I wanted it.
I didn’t kiss her, I mauled her, they coulda called it a crime,
smooth criminal, fondling with intent to rape. & she did me just
as hard, knocking over things that got in our way, ripping clothes,
falling vulgarly onto the bed as if the sun had burned off our wings.
& after I come down, she’s still torchy & euphoric, she’s got her back
against me, saying hold me hold me, & all I can think is to caress her
tits. I need to move off the wet spot, I need uppers, a drink, something.
maybe then I figure this whole sordid affair is too intense, I fall deeper
into her heart, & her into mine, & I know for sure we will hurt each
other, I could catch the next train out, she’ll forget me in time & I’ve
already forgotten her, we’ll get our separate fixes with the next lover &
the one after that….. sure, we could do that
but baby, let’s not…
(Art: Alfred Stieglitz)