deepundergroundpoetry.com
---Hardcore---
can you smell it?
the sterile, raw odor of insanity
last time I was in the psych ward
I was kicking methadone hardcore
in four points restraints, drugged up
still they couldn't keep me down
screaming obscenities to the heavens
I can feel it again
that ugly feeling creeping up on me
you're getting crazy
I hear the voices screaming in my mind
I can taste it
the bland food of the mental ward
starving myself no food would pass these lips
thinking I was immortal and didn't need to eat
the memories are flooding back
that bad place, the pain of it
of sleeping on a rubber bed
kicking that bitch of a drug
Hitler's scientists had created
feeling like a wild animal caged
phening for a smoke
anything to get the monster anxiety off my back
the rawness
crawling in my skin
i'm hurting and I don't know how to fix it
so I write about it
I can smell that sterile, four point restraint crazy house
can you?
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likes 23
reading list entries 0
comments 47
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Re. ---Hardcore---
Anonymous
9th Sep 2016 6:42pm
Anytime the urge is comes... show yourself this picture ..
Having them take the morphine drip out of my room... was hard
You are a world of possibilities, dear..
Even when we are clouded with raging addiction, pretending to be a calm comfy blanket of a friend.
Hang in ..Stay cool
✨Trish
Having them take the morphine drip out of my room... was hard
You are a world of possibilities, dear..
Even when we are clouded with raging addiction, pretending to be a calm comfy blanket of a friend.
Hang in ..Stay cool
✨Trish
1
Re: Re. ---Hardcore---
9th Sep 2016 10:49pm
Re. ---Hardcore---
Anonymous
9th Sep 2016 6:44pm
Edgy & raw & intense, so like my Crim in all her ink that anything less would be disappointing. . .Enjoyed, immensely, my Queen. . .love to you. . .~Devlin.
1
Re: Re. ---Hardcore---
9th Sep 2016 10:50pm
Re. ---Hardcore---
9th Sep 2016 6:47pm
I am amazed at your strength and beauty. To struggle with your demons, brave sharing your experience...diamond strength. You paint a vivid picture here. I'm sending as much warmth and healing energy as I can find your way.
1
Re: Re. ---Hardcore---
9th Sep 2016 10:51pm
thank you lovely Willow i've wrestled these demons before it will be alight..
love Crim
love Crim
Re. ---Hardcore---
9th Sep 2016 7:12pm
A very intense read. Filled with visuals that I would not want to revisit.
It was so real, raw and honest. Presented as only you can....
I think the format made it even more intense. A talented lady
that knows how to convey her thoughts.
Keith
It was so real, raw and honest. Presented as only you can....
I think the format made it even more intense. A talented lady
that knows how to convey her thoughts.
Keith
1
Re: Re. ---Hardcore---
9th Sep 2016 10:51pm
Re. ---Hardcore---
9th Sep 2016 7:57pm
Re: Re. ---Hardcore---
9th Sep 2016 10:52pm
Re. ---Hardcore---
Anonymous
9th Sep 2016 8:17pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. ---Hardcore---
9th Sep 2016 10:52pm
Re: Re. ---Hardcore---
9th Sep 2016 10:53pm
Re. ---Hardcore---
Anonymous
9th Sep 2016 9:16pm
Intense, dark, raw...only in the way you can deliver, dear Crim.
((Hugs)) to you 💓
((Hugs)) to you 💓
1
Re: Re. ---Hardcore---
9th Sep 2016 10:54pm
Re. ---Hardcore---
9th Sep 2016 9:52pm
Naw, I can't smell it, Brenda, but I know it is there for you,
or at least you are writing about it. I have my own horror
stories, but they don't come around nearly as much as they
used to. I have a very good feeling I am going to end my life
as a mellowed out old druggie.
or at least you are writing about it. I have my own horror
stories, but they don't come around nearly as much as they
used to. I have a very good feeling I am going to end my life
as a mellowed out old druggie.
1
Re: Re. ---Hardcore---
9th Sep 2016 10:54pm
Anonymous
- Edited 8th Nov 2018 00:49am
9th Sep 2016 9:55pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. ---Hardcore---
9th Sep 2016 10:55pm
Anonymous
- Edited 8th Nov 2018 00:49am
9th Sep 2016 11:00pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. ---Hardcore---
so you've been on both sides of it.. yeah it is rough going whenever anxiety and paranoia creep in i'm instantly feeling that hateful raw pain..
thank you Todski for sharing your experiences with me..
love Brenda
thank you Todski for sharing your experiences with me..
love Brenda
Re. ---Hardcore---
10th Sep 2016 00:10am
Re: Re. ---Hardcore---
10th Sep 2016 1:37am
Re. ---Hardcore---
10th Sep 2016 3:32am
I can definately smell it,your words take me there.
Such a talented poetess,you are,writing is in your blood....
Such a talented poetess,you are,writing is in your blood....
1
Re: Re. ---Hardcore---
10th Sep 2016 2:24pm
Re. ---Hardcore---
10th Sep 2016 4:10am
Powerful words by a powerful woman. Your strength flows onto the page and you serve as an inspiration for us all. Let your pen be your weapon against the enemy.
Hades
Hades
1
Re: Re. ---Hardcore---
10th Sep 2016 2:25pm
thank you Darkest Lord yes writing is a powerful weapon when fighting anxiety.. I wrote about it yesterday until it finally passed.. I deeply appreciate your thoughts..
love Crim
love Crim
Re. ---Hardcore---
10th Sep 2016 7:19am
Those places suck, and don't do much helping. If anything they drive you more crazy.
Great write Crim 😁
Great write Crim 😁
1
Re: Re. ---Hardcore---
10th Sep 2016 2:26pm
thank you DC yeah they suck I don't see myself ever going back gratefully..
love Crim
love Crim
Anonymous
- Edited 27th Dec 2019 12:45pm
10th Sep 2016 7:27am
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. ---Hardcore---
10th Sep 2016 2:27pm
Re. ---Hardcore---
10th Sep 2016 9:58am
A raw whirlwind of intense emotions.... my thoughts go to you.. we all have demons and you should be fiercely proud of your resilience
1
Re: Re. ---Hardcore---
10th Sep 2016 2:28pm
Re. ---Hardcore---
10th Sep 2016 11:42am
you make it vivid, Crim,
the horror chokes us like it was a living thing.
I was in bad places, but never like that...
the horror chokes us like it was a living thing.
I was in bad places, but never like that...
1
Re: Re. ---Hardcore---
10th Sep 2016 2:29pm
Re. ---Hardcore---
10th Sep 2016 3:52pm
Brenda... so dark and powerful.. but i know you're stronger.. you will defeat the demons.. i love you!!
Dave
Dave
1
Re: Re. ---Hardcore---
10th Sep 2016 8:36pm
Re. ---Hardcore---
10th Sep 2016 6:31pm
I can still catch the stench, Crim. I've been there myself although not quite so traumatically. It's a tough visit to recall, but doing so helps prevent a return to those sterile walls and cruel halls. Thanks for the unflinching honesty Crim. You're a brave Lady!
1
Re: Re. ---Hardcore---
10th Sep 2016 8:37pm
thank you Sir Crow I feel for you yes writing it out yesterday helped a lot..
love Crim
love Crim
Re. ---Hardcore---
11th Sep 2016 6:04am
Yes, I can!
Not restrained, but I know that place... that 'prison' for the damaged and labeled ones... a place I don't EVER wanna visit again!
Chills you gave me on this trip down memory lane...
Love, Duende
Not restrained, but I know that place... that 'prison' for the damaged and labeled ones... a place I don't EVER wanna visit again!
Chills you gave me on this trip down memory lane...
Love, Duende
1
Re: Re. ---Hardcore---
11th Sep 2016 11:54am
Re. ---Hardcore---
Anonymous
12th Sep 2016 00:55am
Arriving late yet I echo all the ones before me...you pen and your soul are just two of the strengths which you have Beautiful One. I have always said I can never say "I understand" but when you scribe like this, you pull us all in to your survived nightmare and we can feel it. You are a true inspiration to so many lovely one....never forget that.
I love you so very much!
xoxo Taryn
I love you so very much!
xoxo Taryn
1
Re: Re. ---Hardcore---
12th Sep 2016 11:25am
Re. ---Hardcore---
2nd Sep 2018 4:56am
I know I've talked sensory play with you before, and you nailed it here. From the cleanser saturated in the floors to the madness of poison leaving your body, I felt every moment.
I have no idea what your personal experiences have been, but you are the stronger for rending beauty from the tears of your struggles. Don't ever stop. You elevate us all.
I have no idea what your personal experiences have been, but you are the stronger for rending beauty from the tears of your struggles. Don't ever stop. You elevate us all.
1
Re: Re. ---Hardcore---
2nd Sep 2018 5:32am
thank you dearest Taurus this was inspired by painful anxiety a difficult reminder of the torment I went through coming off this particular drug...I appreciate you embracing the harder truths I've shared...
love Brenda
love Brenda
Re. ---Hardcore---
20th Mar 2021 10:27pm
I"m in love with myself now crack addict God=crack cocaine addict beg for you dinner.