Playing Games

I'm stuck again. Why should it even suprise anymore. I'm always falling behind. I'm not sure if i can do all of this. Its so much harder than it looks, In the end I will still have him and I know that but still. I can never seem to pick just one. Why do I always crave attention like I do? It hurts the one I think I love. Do I relly love them if I seek attention like I do? Will I ever break the habit if I do love him? I don't want to break his heart, I fear more than anything that I will. Why do i always do things like this? Maybe I'm better off on my own, alone like i should be. I hate the person i have become these days. I am nothing without my hunger for something new, but the real question is when will the newness fade enough for me to do what i promised i would not, before i play my games again. Before I loose another to myself.