deepundergroundpoetry.com
Middle of the Night (rev'd)
the drone of summer bugs,
millions of them; a chant, a mantra
of small tremors shivering the warm air
in the middle of the night
it hangs heavy
from the eaves above the windows
my head throbs with visions of you
as I toss and turn
in my naked half-awareness
dampness circles my neck,
it runs down the valley
between my breasts
sweat pearls on the gentle slope
where my backbone ends
at foothills and tan lines
air hissing from the flutter of
powdered wings, eyes within eyes
survey multiple moonscapes
a stillness descends, a displacement
a hush of breath
cools the nectar on my fingers
distracting me just long enough
to halt the rise of my fever,
to tilt an odd angle into sleep
.
Written by
Jade-Pandora
(jade tiger)
Published 11th Aug 2016
| Edited 2nd Aug 2018
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 9
reading list entries 0
comments 13
reads 861
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
Re. Middle of the Night (rev'd)
Jade, you paint such beautiful, natural and super sensual images. These two stanzas are real tingle makers
"dampness circles my neck,
it runs down the valley
between my breasts
sweat pearls on the gentle slope
where my backbone ends
at foothills and tan lines"
...foothills indeed. Bravisima bella poeta!
"dampness circles my neck,
it runs down the valley
between my breasts
sweat pearls on the gentle slope
where my backbone ends
at foothills and tan lines"
...foothills indeed. Bravisima bella poeta!
1
Re: Re. Middle of the Night (rev'd)
12th Aug 2016 6:46pm
Re. Middle of the Night (rev'd)
12th Aug 2016 10:43am
startling erotic images in this, never mind the bugs.
standing out from their thin metaphorical veils,
& yes, fever is the right word...
standing out from their thin metaphorical veils,
& yes, fever is the right word...
1
Re. Middle of the Night (rev'd)
13th Aug 2016 6:41am
Re. Middle of the Night (rev'd)
Anonymous
13th Aug 2016 1:26pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. Middle of the Night (rev'd)
13th Aug 2016 9:10pm
Why thank you, dear, if only to dream more.
And I like your new traveling togs.👍
And I like your new traveling togs.👍
Re. Middle of the Night (rev'd)
13th Aug 2016 3:59pm
Having delved into this poems quiet yet riveting sensuality - this revealing of a hot night's passing - reading and rereading... until at last, there is only one word that can describe my, now reaction...
Inspired...
gorgeous write in both it's presence and subtle struggle...
geoff
Inspired...
gorgeous write in both it's presence and subtle struggle...
geoff
1
Re: Re. Middle of the Night (rev'd)
Why thank you dear Geoffrey, I'm touched by the words borne from my image/speak.
-tig
-tig
Re. Middle of the Night (rev'd)
This is intensely erotic, with these two stanzas being my favorites, my matter of taste:
"dampness circles my neck,
it runs down the valley
between my breasts
sweat pearls on the gentle slope
where my backbone ends
at foothills and tan lines'
And I LOVE this last line:
"to tilt an odd angle into sleep"
A certain slant of sleep, perchance to dream. You give me fever, Jade. I'll read you about 2 a.m. or thereabouts. Meanwhile, excellent work!
"dampness circles my neck,
it runs down the valley
between my breasts
sweat pearls on the gentle slope
where my backbone ends
at foothills and tan lines'
And I LOVE this last line:
"to tilt an odd angle into sleep"
A certain slant of sleep, perchance to dream. You give me fever, Jade. I'll read you about 2 a.m. or thereabouts. Meanwhile, excellent work!
1
Re: Re. Middle of the Night (rev'd)
13th Aug 2016 9:48pm
Oh my, thank you, friend crowfly. That's an amazing share my effort has coaxed from you. And once more I'm deeply grateful for the recommendation.
Re. Middle of the Night (rev'd)
25th Aug 2016 3:40am
You have a great way with words. Your imagery here is slightly electric, tied down by the summer heat. I felt like I was there in the midst of the night with the sweat and nature and that underlying eroticism. I am just in awe of this piece.
1
Re: Re. Middle of the Night (rev'd)
25th Aug 2016 4:21am
Re. Middle of the Night (rev'd)
25th Aug 2016 3:40am
You have a great way with words. Your imagery here is slightly electric, tied down by the summer heat. I felt like I was there in the midst of the night with the sweat and nature and that underlying eroticism. I am just in awe of this piece.
0