the im sorry speech: for:

 
the tobacco the cheesegrater
the fist I thought was playful but
you would not stand for
and the sock waved in your face
at 5am
fuck you
(whose sock is this)
fuck you
(now whose)
and it was yours

is this why you
are so happy to leave me
is this all?
how careless I have been
selfish and self centred
annoyed you would not help


how futile my few attempts to be good
met with emptiness;
so you were right to call me stupid
leastways I am furthest into hell


sometimes love it's not about
right or wrong

I'm not sorry enough to undig my claws
from your scarred bones
or unhook my teeth from your eye
i will rip my lips stitches after sewing shut
i will break open locks and
i will call

a sorry wolfdog's call
in snow and silence

I am sorry,  I am sorry
I will not die

muzzle me and lock me up
but not out
in the night rain with no one
prepared to house me
train me
feed me
like you were