The Breathing Method

I suck at the sky for that last breath of air
Pulled into lungs so damaged but
Still trying to keep me alive
But I recognize that it will be the last sucking gasp at life
Soon enough
Without even seeing these latest test results
That had the men in lab coats
Clucking and raising eyebrows
And afraid to tell me what I know
Cowards in white coats
Afraid of the reaction of a middle aged man
Somehow
Who is no longer mad
But resigned
To what they will send to my own doctor
Another white coated stranger in my life
Who will tell me his bad news
And so I suck at the sky for my breath of air
Great gulping helpings that I can no longer get into me
Felled by my own stupidity
Into the darkest night of the soul