Image for the poem too soon beloved

too soon beloved

mostly, he watches porn & satisfies himself as he awaits the end of his
winter of discontent, which has lasted now thru several springs &
summers. then one night, just like that, he decides he wants a woman,
a real woman; maybe he'll find one with the name of a pornstar, like
Janelle or Nola or Terri. so he puts on a navy blue sportcoat over a khaki
shirt & jeans, splashes on Hai Karate, & goes out to hunt.

he goes to the clubs where the girls are very beautiful, or else they think
they are, & thus disguise their non-glamour with a mock arrogance of
makeup, so that even the plain girls reject him.

these fancy dancehalls aren’t his killing field, he figures, so he heads for
a divebar. he takes the stool next to a woman in long curls, brunette &
liquid. ‘Hi, I’m Rollo’ he says, which isn’t his name, but it came into his
head so he said it, & about falls over when she says her name is Terri.

they fall into easy conversation, & dance as a ballad of the old world
plays on the jukebox. neither of them being good dancers, they simply
sway languidly, enjoying the holding & the being held, which are
essential benefits of dancing.

the evaporating hours of the night find them sitting closely together,
touching in casual ways: his hand on her arm, in a blatant attempt to
be near her breast, which she is aware of but does not dissuade; she
with her hand on his knee, then his thigh, noticing a subtle stirring
beneath the fabric of his jeans.

when the bar closes, they’re not ready to part, & he….. well, he informs
her of his flight plan & she clears him for take-off. their one-night stand,
being a very private affair, can be summarized thusly:

    they found that lust is but a dying flame
    upon a burning bed
    and all the things that can be said of love
    are never said

a few hours later he awakes to find himself alone. there was no note; Terri
was gone & there was no trace that she had even been there. suddenly he
felt the old hurt rekindle inside him. he never wanted to love her this much.

( a girl of the briefest kiss, so deeply beloved  –
you leave us to wonder, Terri, what took you away?)

he returns home to build his wall of winter, & he tries not to think about
Terri.  (no, seriously, he really tries.)
mostly, he watches porn…

(Artist unknown)

Written by JohnFeddeler
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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