deepundergroundpoetry.com
Woman on woman
Somebody passed a joint,
until much later
with her experience
and my naivety she led down
a whole new pathway.
Her skillful fingers and tongue
spread and explored me,
until I, stumbling through
the dark of my identity,
was left craving more.
But I was just a conquest;
one more notch on her bedpost.
until much later
with her experience
and my naivety she led down
a whole new pathway.
Her skillful fingers and tongue
spread and explored me,
until I, stumbling through
the dark of my identity,
was left craving more.
But I was just a conquest;
one more notch on her bedpost.
Published 26th Jul 2016
| Edited 31st Jul 2016
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likes 3
reading list entries 1
comments 8
reads 941
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
26th Jul 2016 1:46am
You had me at "joint" ... Cool piece, it's not raw but it's honest which makes it good poetry
26th Jul 2016 3:16am
26th Jul 2016 11:26am
Hey Bag Lady, who got their period in the last line? Fix that punctuation.
Then change notch to crotch.
Bwahahahahaha!
Then change notch to crotch.
Bwahahahahaha!
Paper bag lady if you please! I'll stick with notch............ thanks :)
27th Jul 2016 5:00pm
I like the... ummm... exploratory nature of this one. Short and very sexy!!
I do have a quibble - I think two more commas will really improve the flow of meaning and cure the "...I stumbling..." blues.
spread and explored me,
until I, stumbling through
the dark of my identity,
was left craving more.
I do have a quibble - I think two more commas will really improve the flow of meaning and cure the "...I stumbling..." blues.
spread and explored me,
until I, stumbling through
the dark of my identity,
was left craving more.
31st Jul 2016 1:37pm
Anonymous
- Edited 8th Nov 2018 00:49am
31st Jul 2016 11:59pm
<< post removed >>
2nd Aug 2016 3:29am
