Make it look like an accident

So you want a divorce
So you can marry
Your 22nd affair victim
You didn’t realise
I was keeping count
 
So you want a divorce
The house, the car
And 80% of the money
We’ved saved together
So you can shack up with
Dimitri;
Or Boris 22 as I call him
 
So you want a divorce
Regardless of the fact
That I love you
That I forgive you
You would rather
Ignore all that
And dump me
Like garbage
 
So you want a divorce
Why should I
Surely it would be easier
And so much cheaper
To just kill you
it costs nothing
for you to fall  
down the stairs
or swallow dive
from the bedroom balcony
 
electric curling tong
can easily fall into the bath
or cable hanging yourself
from the roof whilst
fixing the TV aerial
it can always be made
to look like an accident
rather than a divorce