Premature Intellectual Ejaculation

 
surely you can't presume
a lad to become totally and devoutly
decadent and depraved
until said child
has been sent to a good school
such words penned
maybe not exactly like above
by H.H. (Saki) Munro
so I've been led to believe
and really
why would they lie
then again
why wouldn't they

homosapiensRUs
borne from one of two
long ago events
God in Heaven
bored out of His Heavenly skull
(God has a skull?)
took his magic and created the universe
still bored
(one of those days)
He made appear plants and water and . . .
things on one of the worlds
and called it Earth
still, something wasn't right
ah . . .
the image of Me
was next to come
little egocentric I would presume
but who am I  to presume
made a man
which was good
uh, but the man seemed somewhat lost as to what to do
so He gave man
(wo)man
ah, that's more like it
man figured out what to do PDQ
and they've been fighting ever since
God has a very weird sense of humor

anyway
that's one version

another version
(which actually kinda, maybe, makes more sense)
is that we
homo sapiens
climbed out of the ocean
learned how to breathe the air
(air may have been different back then)
grow feet and this and that and
voilà!
man
man and woman
well, not exactly
see, we were more on the
uh
lower scale of the food chain
had to learn
the law of the jungle as it were
tough going
still . . .
we preserved
finally made it up the chain
to the great apes
oh boy
now things were looking up
don't'cha know
don't laugh
didn't-ya see "Planet of the Apes?"
jeez
anyhow, and I'm not smart enough to explain
how it worked
but hell
way I heard it
apesRUs
except now we're human
whatever that means
have we stopped evolving
maybe
could be we're going backward

tell the truth
explaining the Creation Crusade
and the Evolution Epigone
have flat out worn me down
besides, I got carried away
it's better usually
to use
Ockham's Razor
way of
'splaining things