Miserable

This gloomy weather
has cast upon me
and I feel as if it shouldn't
because happiness surrounds me
yet I have yet to fulfill its potential
something is missing,but I don't know what

My head races with thoughts
of becoming better,but I feel comfortable
I feel there is something that I need to claim
I see the signs,but I can't find the clearance
I ask for answers,but I know I must find them

I just want it to stop,but I am not ready
for this misery to go away
because I fear nothing will be the same
I have been able to cope with myself
these last few months,but I need a change.

Do I go to search for a new high?
or do I stay in this miserable state of mind?