The Right Light

I’m not that old just fifty one
And I only just arrived here
I’ve got the body of a man who’s
Getting near the grave
I gasp a breath into my skinny lungs
But not a lot of oxygen gets pulled in
And so I’m out of breath all day even if
I only sit here
My head’s been playing tricks on itself
For many ages and the drugs just keep me
Halfway off the rope
I pace the ground around me so much
That I might just grind a path into the carpet
And yet I’ll smile and tell you I’m alright
When I’m thinking of my last night
And I’ll write some happy shit
Just to see if I can catch the mood
I’m losing weight so fast that it’s like a race
I look like a prisoner at a prison camp on a bad day
I’m fading away pretty fast but I’m not certain
I can stay even that long
When you look around inside a life like mine
It’s a pretty grim sight to bear
I don’t know what it looks like from the outside
But it can’t be pretty although I’ve kept my hair
And I wonder where everyone has gone
All my friends have disappeared and I’m alone
It’s a good thing I’m being cremated
Since I don’t think you could find six to carry me
To my final reward
Oh when did things get so fucking bad
That I’m worth a lot more dead than alive
But I’ve got nobody to give the money to
It’s kind of funny if you look at it in the right light