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When Reality Meets Expectations

 
He said wait on him
And honestly I thought I was
But could it be
Just maybe
I was only waiting on the mirage
I thought was him
This idealized version of him
That I created in my head
Was it truly ever really him that I waited on
Or was it the dream I painted with him in it
Was it the man in rare form
Or was it something I saw in him
That represented all I thought I wanted
What if
Just what if
He was never really real
And everything I thought I wanted
Was that
Just a dream
A mirage
And it never truly existed
What if
Just maybe
Everything I thought he was
Was only but the opposite in real life
What if I only waited
Because in my mind he was my imperfectly perfect person
But behind the rose colored glasses
He’s nothing I truly expected
Or would have wanted
And he turns out to be
Just like the rest of them
Over thinking
Hmmm
Maybe
But what if
My thoughts are more rational than delusional
Built on concrete reasons
Instead of a tainted past
Chest tightens
I can’t breathe
What if I truly wasted all these years
And he is nothing like I expected
What a great build up
To a massive let down
And an imaginary life
I had envisioned
Goes up in flames
Before it ever even played out

All rights reserved to BSavvy
BSavvy
Written by BSavvy
Published | Edited 4th Aug 2016
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