deepundergroundpoetry.com
Wings
Open your mouth
But emitting no scream
Jump out your window
And hope you sprout wings
The bed in your room
Is soft and has springs
But the ground you move toward
Breaks bones and it stings
Like the tears that welled up
In your eyes as you fall
But thinking back now
You felt nothing at all
But that's easy for you
To say all these things
Because the ground was not soft
And you sprouted no wings
But emitting no scream
Jump out your window
And hope you sprout wings
The bed in your room
Is soft and has springs
But the ground you move toward
Breaks bones and it stings
Like the tears that welled up
In your eyes as you fall
But thinking back now
You felt nothing at all
But that's easy for you
To say all these things
Because the ground was not soft
And you sprouted no wings
Published 24th Jun 2016
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The author encourages honest critique.
25th Jun 2016 3:10pm
I like this. There's a softness to the darkness. I found the perspective confusing toward the end--who is the you? Is the speaker reliable or unreliable in his/her account of the observation?
Second stanza is my favorite. Thumbs up.
Second stanza is my favorite. Thumbs up.
27th Jun 2016 6:09pm
So the "you" is the individual that is falling. I may have mixed it up in the writing process but I pictured it, the person died, falling, and is talking to their past self who is right now, falling. If that makes sense.
I thank you for your time to give me feedback.
I thank you for your time to give me feedback.
