Mind Trip

I want to vacate from myself
Because everything that currently surrounds me is not worth experiencing
All the thoughts I think
Emotions that I feel
There is no place for them anymore
At least it doesn't seem that way
And these dark clouds hovering over me are tiring
Their presence weighs me down but I can't shake them off
I've tried to fly but they won't let me go
They promise to collect me if I agree to turn to dust
And you would think that'd mean I'd perish
But they tell me that my fragments would be cherished
And because they offer warmth from the cold I've felt
I almost believe the lies they tell

This world is not meant for me
I look for points but only find less
Heightened sensitivity and painful exposure
Hardly a reason for keeping composure
I'd make a pretty good insanity promoter
It lives at my doorstep and wants to come closer
And oh I could let it when I'm drawn to its appeal
It has hands that could touch me and make me never feel
It could tell me both delusion and reality are real
And I won't know the difference nor will I crave to break the seal
Because I'd at least be somewhere
And predefined by labels even more so than now
They would see me as something
And I'd learn to see myself through their eyes
My reflection molded
No longer shaped by my own sculpting

Once upon a time I could make something out of nothing
And I knew I could trust it
For that reason I didn't fear it
And was oblivious to how it could leave me troubled
Detached from most forms of desire
And from will
If one can't find meaning in persistence
The question becomes why persist?
There is no immediate answer
And there is no restingplace to figure it out
Things just go
And I just remain
Emotions far away from me
Drifting further into the abyss
Life a blur
Who cares why I exist?
It's just the right thing to do
So keep moving I guess
Fuck all the broken pieces
Ignore the tragic mess
One day it will change
Whether the result of life or death
I just inhale the oxygen
Hoping it's not my last breath
Cuz there's gotta be more to this
Suppose I'll find out what's next
I used to always wonder
Lately I just forget

A vacation from my own head might help with new perspective
If only I could take time off
Instead I decided to travel on thought
Welcome to my destination