deepundergroundpoetry.com

Don't lie to me and tell me I'm good enough

I will never be fucking
Good enough.

Not I'm the back of a worn out
Car with a horny boy who pretends
I have any chance of getting back
Together with him if I maybe let him
Fuck me for a minute.

I'm not good enough in the back of the courtoom,
Tears in my eyes, wishing it wasn't true.
Wishing so fucking hard it wasn't true
That my dad wasn't going to fucking
Jail for 2 years. That maybe if I had
Been a better daughter he would have stayed.

Maybe if I had been a better girlfriend then
He would have stayed. Instead he pulls
My hair too hard and slaps my ass too hard
In the dress that once made me feel
Pretty and now makes me feel fucking
Used.

I wish I had been good enough for that
Job. Instead the manager chose someone
Else.

I wish I had been good enough to keep
Living in my fucking house. Instead we
Are moving because daddys in jail
And we can't afford the fucking house
Anymore and then after we've moved
I'm still getting kicked out in 6 months.

I wish I was good enough for myself.
That I didn't wanna cry every time I
Looked in a mirror and hated my skin
And my body and the way I laughed.

I think somehow everything would be
Better if he told me he wanted to get
Back together with me instead of just
Fuck me. I wish he wanted me. I wish I
Was the kind of girl who didn't need
Him to validate me. His dick isn't even
That good anyway. I just wanted someone
To hold me and tell me it was going to
Be okay.

And he did that for a while. And then he left
Me because he didn't like me the way
I liked him. He just wanted sex and to be
My friend and that maybe someday we
Could get back together.

He called me "baby" when I was sucking
His cock, as if for that moment we were
Back together. And held my hand and
Kissed me sweetly and I just wanted to
Fucking cry. I never want him to
Touch me again.

I want to feel important again.

Or at least good enough. For anyone.
Written by Denythelove
Published
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