deepundergroundpoetry.com
Their piece of love...
He's not searching for love
He seeks release
She's only looking for love
to be held tightly
Just like a leash
He wants prey for release
Only a piece
But she seeks the whole thing
praying for love
She wants peace...
She prays
She's prey...
To having her peace shattered
Broken pieces he leaves scattered..
He will fill her left with emptiness
She'll be left full hearted a dark abyss. 💔
He seeks release
She's only looking for love
to be held tightly
Just like a leash
He wants prey for release
Only a piece
But she seeks the whole thing
praying for love
She wants peace...
She prays
She's prey...
To having her peace shattered
Broken pieces he leaves scattered..
He will fill her left with emptiness
She'll be left full hearted a dark abyss. 💔
Published 10th Jun 2016
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likes 3
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comments 7
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The author encourages honest critique.
10th Jun 2016 00:54am
I liked it. I thought the lines "...be held tightly/Just like a leash" was a little weak or chliche, but otherwise very good! :)
15th Jun 2016 4:20am
I'm glad you liked it.
Tbh I felt that "Just like a leash" was the weakest part of this piece.
Thank you!
-GroovySteroids
Tbh I felt that "Just like a leash" was the weakest part of this piece.
Thank you!
-GroovySteroids
10th Jun 2016 6:29am
15th Jun 2016 4:21am
10th Jun 2016 8:33pm
That sums up how some men view women as prey.. I liked it... Even tempo.
~BSavvy
~BSavvy
15th Jun 2016 4:23am
A piece on two people with two different motives, going in two different directions. that end up running into each other...
Thank you.
-GroovySteroids
Thank you.
-GroovySteroids
Anonymous
22nd Jan 2018 10:40pm
Ahhh. Great way to describe a classic dynamic with dating and relationships. I love the play on the words 'piece' and 'peace' and how you show how predatory some men are. Some women are so desperate, they will allow themselves to be snatched and ate up. Pun not intended but maybe it still fits. Lol. Seriously, some don't even see it coming until they get got. I agree that the last line in the first stanza could be replaced. It's never too late or a bad thing to edit a write. Good stuff.
