Uncondtional Love May Bring Strength through Pain

 Calling for you.  Falling straight through.  This dark black hole I have created through my image of myself.  Now, my wings are wet once again, which really means my Spirit is dampened for the moment.
it's been raining on and off for days into weeks.  In my trials through this life, I certainly know I'm not a Saint. One thing I believe in, is unconditional love. It's something I have to offer, but unless I can give it to myself it May only bring pain. So how do we take these things and people that have hurt us in stride? Well, I have only found through perseverance and the slow pain staking of time and space as we understand it.
I know that although it seems like I have the understanding of how to give this love to others, grateful I am to my mother for giving it to me.  I still at times struggle to understand how to give it to myself.  I feel weak. When it comes down to my core though... I know it makes my Spirit stronger and that black hole helps to make and keep me whole.  
I have never been blessed with love that just comes to me on my terms, and who can say the same?  I can only wonder if there is something that I may have done? In past or equally parallel lives. Have I been so cruel to feel the things I do now? All I really have asked the Universe for is for someone who I can grow with and share experiences with no thoughts of treason to the others' Spirit.
No deception, no lies, because after all. Don't people understand with unconditional love, defined by My own Faith promises forgiveness always, Not right away, maybe, but if you are true and real, that is something that I love so much more than any fouls you could bestow upon me. My Soul is willing unless you use deception, and inhumanity purposely against me. So much more do I still heed to learn. In the meantime, I would like to enjoy daily living. I know I am not the only one who feels this pain. Only the degrees and frequencies of depth May differ.  I know, I must be strong enough let go, even if I do not understand the reasons now, nor May I never.
Either way, here I sit. Here I suffer. My only solace in the Faith I have. It had obviously been being neglected, meaning to say I was being untrue to my own Spirit in hopes of a bond I desire so badly.  Showing me now that I must focus on it. I literally have been left with only time to reveal this conclusion.  Unconditional love is worth this pain. Is worth this suffering, I know the rewards from the mutual unconditional promise between yourself and another is one of the rewards for being here.