Lady Le Homme

 Lady Le Homme

PART ONE

Miss Jaynie saved
Me in a way.
Took me in and taught me
All my ways.
So why didn't I cry
Out,
When Miss Jaynie's throat was
Ripped away?
Because Miss Jaynie
Damned
Me as well.

What's it like there
In the little piece of your
Mind you keep alive?
Is it dark?
Is it cold?
Does it hurt?
Oh no. Not that place. You keep that
Lit.

The danger was
Time.
The language she spoke was Likened to
Stroking the rich, soft
Fur
Of a dangerous wild animal.
She
Held a little something
Extra.

Watch out little bitch,
There are wolves outside.
Your door.

Wake up!
And face me.
She slept for too long
And the world was gone
What remained was
Bloody legs,
Laughter.
"Feel like a woman yet?!"
Voice, hollow,
Dead.
Blood from another
Hole.
Miss Jaynie's neck.

Stay back,
The hands that
Point
To my failure.
The mouths that
Speak
Of my shame.
The ears that soak up my
Screams.
But worst of all are the
Eyes
That stare at
ME.

The mother I never met
Always said
Change comes from
Luck.
But she changed
Into being
Dead,
And left me all alone in the
Dark

Shall I? Shall I?!
Tit tat,
How much can
Master take?
Tit tat,
How much does
Master give?

PART TWO

Miss Jaynie was my mother,
my teacher in all things ladylike
And my pimp.
She too,
Was transgender.
She took me from the orphanage.
I was to be nothing but a money spinner.

A pretty boy child.
But she caught me wearing her makeup one day.
I thought for sure I was dead.
Instead Miss Jaynie set me down and told me,
"Men fear what they do not understand,
In turn they hate that which makes them feel this fear.
However,
When taught,
One can turn this fear into
Fascination,
Curiosity,
Finally,
Infatuation.
We can make men love women like us,
Do you wish to learn?"
I agreed eagerly,
Relieved not to be beaten.
Good to her word I was most
Elegant,
Graceful,
Beautiful girl the men had ever
Seen.

I became a favourite.
I was hit less to preserve my Looks.
A man in a dark suit came and
Talked with Miss Jaynie.
They seemed to talk forever
Then they shook hands.
To my surprise it was not night
When my
Bedroom door opened.
Pain is all I remember.
Pain was all there was.
I focused on it.

Lunch-break,
It turns out is a much more Opportune
Time
For such visits.
Afterwards,
Miss Jaynie sat beside me.
She told me,
"It hurts the first time,
I know.
But next time will be easier.
You may even enjoy it."
Once again my sweet Miss Jaynie Did not lie.
I became insatiable.
But all the seed grew something Dark inside me.
I hate her.
Yet I could never have left her,
For I love her.

I was not her only child.
I was simply her most needed.
I was supposed to save her like
She did for me.
She gave me a special gun,
Told me to shoot the scary,
Ungrateful son.
I never learnt his name.
I just know he had died and
Not stayed that way.
I hid under the desk,
The place of my ultimate
Downfall,
And we waited.
He came,
I did nothing.
His teeth tore into our mothers
Throat.
No blood was taken.
My brother cried red,
The same color our forsaker Bled.

I went back to the orphanage for
A short while.
I waited for my trial.
I was older,
Smarter in some ways. 

I needed a name.
I'd never been given one.
Sure,
I had nicknames but never one
That stuck.
So I call myself Lady Le Homme.
Most didn't get it but some
One-nighters
Had a laugh.
For the most part I'd stayed
Away from drugs,
If only to keep my body.

Had I told anyone this they may
Have said,
"The trauma you
Have suffered
Caused you to replace the
Gunman,
Most likely yourself,
With a vampire help you cope
With what happened."
Maybe this is right.
Except that I know it's total
Bullshit.
Especially now.
They said it anyway.