Clouds

 Dark clouds silently collide
They roll deeply together
They become deeper
They become darker
Merging to blot out the light
They start to loose attitude
The sky is falling
The sky is falling
It’s almost like I could touch them
I want to touch them
I reach up hand skyward
I cannot reach them
I am no good at cloud breaking
They descend further
I feel them brush my hair
Gently rubbing my forehead
But  it is not soothing
The light has gone
I am surrounded in blackness
I try to swirl them with my hands
They laugh at me
They whisper to me
“you’re pathetic”
“you’re a waste of skin”
“you don’t deserve to live”
“It would be better if you were dead”
“Look at yourself”
“Just look”
I feel the full weight
Of the clouds on my chest
Pressing down hard
I feel their hands
As they grip tightly
And around my throat
They force me into a corner
Fear and panic grip me
Inside I am screaming
But I make no sound
They shout at me
They bark orders at me
“Kill yourself”
“Do it now”
“You worthless piece of shit”
It’s the same dream
Every night
My alarm clock
Cuts through the clouds
And I live to fight another day
But the clouds now gather
During the day
I feel their evil intent
What if they take over
Even my waking hours
Fear grips me
Maybe they are right
Maybe I am a worthless shit
Maybe I need to kill myself
Maybe I just need to do it now