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Crying

I cried into my corn flakes
A bowl left unfinished
I wept into my coffee cup
Stirring emotional latte
My tears flowed sitting
Standing and lying down
No respite from sobbing
Praying for dehydration
All to no avail whatsoever
Was I to weep for ever
Wearing red, sore eyes
Like badges of sadness
My guilt real and palpable
Despite my clear innocence
I could not shake it loose
A memory playing repeat
Over, over and over again
Holding my newborn son
Meant as a bundle of joy
A family celebration
He only lived for an hour
Lying against my chest
Held in a warm embrace
Real quiet for a newborn
No noises, no baby crying
Breathing heavily and sighing
I sang twinkle, twinkle
Little star to my little star
I felt him take his last breath
His only audible lullaby
The electronic screeching
Of his heart monitor alarm
That was the cue for crying
To begin and continue
Well wishers, the funeral
Dismantling the wooden cot
Packing away new clothing
Teddy bears, a blue, soft elephant
Re-painting the nursery
Back to just a guest room
All done wet and tear stained
It never, ever leaves you
Birthdays are really hard
36 years now passed
But the memories linger
As real today as they were
Way back then
Today I cried into my corn flakes
A bowl left unfinished
Happy birthday little one
David_Macleod
Written by David_Macleod (14397816)
Published | Edited 3rd Nov 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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