deepundergroundpoetry.com
Pizza Blues
It had been a pretty good day
but in the evening i made a tragic mistake
i ordered a pizza
but how was i to know?
the voice on the phone said 35 minutes
and i showed up 10 minutes early
just to be sure
It had been ready for 10 minutes by then
lukewarm is not hot
do another i requested
well demanded actually
but calmly people calmly
keeping my composure is important to me
these days
especially in front of our boy
there was just a tiny little hitch
the pizza guy taking the order didn't speak a word
not a single syllable of my language
i conveyed my wishes instead to the cook
rather than waiting for the inevitable Que?
nope i will not be irritated i will not...
So we stroll to the shop next door
to wait it out
and i read an article in a free paper
of how BDSM folks are misrepresented
Amen i cried out inside myself
we don't always appreciate abuse
10 minutes were up and we returned
to find that the pizza was miraculously ready
well well lets go home and eat it son
carry it for me please i have other things
he's a good boy he held it in his lap
the short ride back to our home
and didn't say a word
good boy
He carried it inside
as i said i had other things to carry
now we can enjoy i prematurely exclaimed
the wife and boy were all smiles
yes lets indeed
Son of a motherless goat arg
it's freaking colder than a dead duck
we got the old one again
my composure was nowhere in sight
had totally lost it
if there's one thing i cannot stand
it's being messed with when i'm hungry
Wife shook her head and walked away
into her room to knit
i know what that means
no cuddles for me tonight no nothing
just a cold shoulder
colder than an Eskimo's schlong
i'll be right back i said to no one
Racing down the hill chewing on my fury
i made a vow to not curse and not shout
steady now
This is the old one and you're having a laugh
Que?
cook please look up from the cheese
this is not acceptable surely you can see that
it's the new one Sir really it is
all i do is make and bake
Sir!
now they're adding insult to injury
what have i done to deserve this?
i'm a bitch not a Sir and god help you now
Que?
i'm not talking to you
and please don't stare at me like that
i wave him away but he doesn't understand hand signals
or any other form of human communication
i think i'm losing my mind here
Give me my money back right now mofo's
and in the unlikely event that you're interested
let me tell you what you can do with that frigid pizza
glad i left the boy at home
Now i'm hungry and pissed with no appetite
munching on my nails and they're ruined now
they will pay for that too
composure huh
sleeping on the couch tonight
and with my luck
having a pizza nightmare
but in the evening i made a tragic mistake
i ordered a pizza
but how was i to know?
the voice on the phone said 35 minutes
and i showed up 10 minutes early
just to be sure
It had been ready for 10 minutes by then
lukewarm is not hot
do another i requested
well demanded actually
but calmly people calmly
keeping my composure is important to me
these days
especially in front of our boy
there was just a tiny little hitch
the pizza guy taking the order didn't speak a word
not a single syllable of my language
i conveyed my wishes instead to the cook
rather than waiting for the inevitable Que?
nope i will not be irritated i will not...
So we stroll to the shop next door
to wait it out
and i read an article in a free paper
of how BDSM folks are misrepresented
Amen i cried out inside myself
we don't always appreciate abuse
10 minutes were up and we returned
to find that the pizza was miraculously ready
well well lets go home and eat it son
carry it for me please i have other things
he's a good boy he held it in his lap
the short ride back to our home
and didn't say a word
good boy
He carried it inside
as i said i had other things to carry
now we can enjoy i prematurely exclaimed
the wife and boy were all smiles
yes lets indeed
Son of a motherless goat arg
it's freaking colder than a dead duck
we got the old one again
my composure was nowhere in sight
had totally lost it
if there's one thing i cannot stand
it's being messed with when i'm hungry
Wife shook her head and walked away
into her room to knit
i know what that means
no cuddles for me tonight no nothing
just a cold shoulder
colder than an Eskimo's schlong
i'll be right back i said to no one
Racing down the hill chewing on my fury
i made a vow to not curse and not shout
steady now
This is the old one and you're having a laugh
Que?
cook please look up from the cheese
this is not acceptable surely you can see that
it's the new one Sir really it is
all i do is make and bake
Sir!
now they're adding insult to injury
what have i done to deserve this?
i'm a bitch not a Sir and god help you now
Que?
i'm not talking to you
and please don't stare at me like that
i wave him away but he doesn't understand hand signals
or any other form of human communication
i think i'm losing my mind here
Give me my money back right now mofo's
and in the unlikely event that you're interested
let me tell you what you can do with that frigid pizza
glad i left the boy at home
Now i'm hungry and pissed with no appetite
munching on my nails and they're ruined now
they will pay for that too
composure huh
sleeping on the couch tonight
and with my luck
having a pizza nightmare
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