Heavy wait champ

In quandary-  
my underpinnings    
built on sight unseen.  
   Assured in  
 unreasonably    
 self confident  
      acuity;  
the least likely version  
of me to succeed.  
   
Spinning plates    
   on sharpened  
     stakes;  
one million and one  
ways to slap a frown  
   on my face.  
   
The pessimist,come  
        unglued;  
 my point of view.  
   
Some things can't  
be learned,they can  
be stolen from you;  
come stops,starts    
  or continues.  
   
If there is any    
  faith in me,  
it's a silent tribute  
to desperate activity.  
   
I owe too much,to  
 give back to you.  
   
I'm the one  
throwing out lines,  
on which hang my    
credulous beliefs.  
   
-oh,that I should concede-  
    A faithful defeat  
   
I stand in lack of any  
concession,known to me.  
The breeding of  
 hope and doubt,  
a gesture of futility.  
 Confusions do more  
  harm than good.  
   
-Clinging to desperation-  
     as if it'll
take me home after  
the party is over  
due to lack of interest,  
and not being    
    understood.