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Deru



the whores & the rain & the loneliness Ė
itís what Iím made of.

Deru (Japanese): it means Ďleave,í & it means Ďappear.í
to go away, to return.

long gone lovers. they come back to me when Iím all full
of whiskey & regret. mostly, they donít wear much, except
the shadows of my depravity. vintage specters of seduction,
they are. I write them out, to write out the sorrow. it breaks
as the heart breaks, & falls to the poem in blue.

how the rain falls from the unbearable lightness of clouds,
each drop is a tear wept by the forsaken; each tear is a
gift to those who have never wept at all.

how we cry in the rain for our long distance paramours, but
they never hear us. Iíve made love with you, you who came
to me out of your own anguish. & even as we did those
sexual things, I have loved you, but you never knew.

and the loneliness itself is a woman, too beautiful in her
austerity. my hands stay stuck to the arms of the chair as
she dances around me, touching me with her cold fire, her
dragonfly kiss. sheís the mistress that will never desert me.

come to my poems for the secrets they tell †Ė
I will break your heart & repair it,
over & overÖ


(Artist unknown)



JohnFeddeler
Written by JohnFeddeler
Published
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