labyrinths ~ abstract love letters unsent {iii}

{iii} afloat in electric blue:

you crashed into me on a cocaine binge,
mettle cutting into places best left alone so i laid them bare
just for you
just for you to tear into them, to tear me to pieces.
{such sweet words about my walls}
i have spent a year & some change trying to pull myself
from the wreckage, trying to collect the parts of myself
i let you mangle ...
... should i confess i'd still come crawling to you,
come crawling for you
just like a dog
just for you
just for you to hurt me again.
for me, you never ceased to exist.

{ii} first anthology:

didn't need self-respect with you, no it was never about
trying to be something i couldn't be.
we were never more honest than the moments you
dipped your fingers into the mess between my thighs
& baptized me in my own blood.

{i} quoting the rhythm of phosgore's warhead:

i loved them all in my own way, as much as i could love anything,
being what i am...  
could we still fuck sometimes if i left you at the altar?